stuff you only see when copping a squat in the woods

[fatnhappy]

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/1475786_389367444574188_602099540955892515_n.jpg?o h=1d86c21c6874c3aeebc281f4c5cefc5c&oe=54FE4A85

[Wolfer]

Years ago I was bad to lean my rifle against a tree and step away a couple steps to do my business.
One day my uncle shot a pretty nice buck while taking care of business. I asked him how he reached his rifle and he said he never squatted without his rifle in reach.

Since then I keep my gun in reach but I've never had this happen to me yet.

[Skirmisher]

123832

[pls1911]

This thread's gonna be a long one, and entertaining to boot.
And you don't have to be hunting or freezing to death either. ..how about fishing, hiking, backpacking, picnic-ing, half way up a 5 hour rock face.... anytime you were caught outside, putting off the inevitable, and your well incubated gut bomb suddenly screams NOW!!!!
Over the years I've had too many mistakes, errors in judgement, embarrassments and surprises to mention... Books have been written documenting trials and mishaps (ref: How to Sheite in the Woods")
Horrifying at the moment, hillarious in retrospect.
From a magical appearance of girl scouts from nowhere, to paper rolls rolling out of reach, to gymnastic efforts trying to recover from involuntary slides down mud-slick hills with your pants around your ankles...
to hippies making it like monkeys in a tree.... (How the H&LL does one accidentally drop trow unawares of THAT?)
Everyone can laugh ONLY because everyone a has a story to tell.

[mold maker]

Friend was snowmobiling with a large group, and got the hot urge. Went down over a hill to hide and somehow forgot the hood on his suit. When he reappeared it was all in his hair and down his back. There was no way to avoid it the rest of the trip since they were about 30 miles into nowhere.
You will never guess what his nickname was from then on.

[Hamish]

True stories all,,,,

One camping trip on of my bunch killed a yearling while squatted. With his compound.

My boy was thirteen, we were goose hunting strip pits, middle of the day he and my hunting partners boy walked around the pits, boy took a squat about half way up, got to within one step of the top of the hill and slipped,,,,,,,. Yup.

One very memorable bow hunt, right after climbing and getting sat down, my guts toldme in no uncertain terms "Right Now!". Ended up turning around in the stand and hanging off. (Killed a pretty. Nice buck later too,,,,)

Also knew a guy who accidentally took a dump in his hood goose hunting. He could tell the story and it was hilarious EVERY time.

[Wolfer]

A man I knew told this story about his nephew. While out coon hunting the urge hit. He walked out aways and did his business. Unbeknown to him in the dark he had dropped it on a crooked stick. As he started to walk off he stepped on the end of the stick and the other end hit him in the back of the head.

I understood it was a cold ride home!

[Pilgrim]

Maybe it's genetic. My dad shot a moose while in mid squat, and I shot a spike elk in the same situation. His moose was in B.C. and nobody else was around to claim the critter so he was able finish his business. In my case I had to return to the process in hand. By the time I was mobile again a youngster ran up and put another bullet in an already dying critter and claimed it. I showed him where my .338 went into the elk right behind the shoulder and where it exited. He still maintained he killed it! Since he was only a kid, had already notched his tag, and I wanted to keep hunting, I said nothing else, turned around and walked off. Sad that so few parents teach their kids woods/hunting etiquette. Pilgrim

[dragon813gt]

Rifle always in arms reach. Solves any issues of critters popping up at an inopportune time. They always pop up when I'm either lowering the bow out of stand or I'm getting out of it. Can't shoot from the ground due to vegetation so I've missed quite a few because of this.

[Geezer in NH]

123832

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :awesome:

[quilbilly]

Everybody knows that when salmon fishing is terrible, all you have to do is pick up a sandwich.

[William Yanda]

My Uncle came home from hunting rabbits with shot in his nether cheeks. Claims the urge hit and just as he lowered his pants, a rabbit ran by the brush pile. I'm not sure if he continued to hunt with that partner or not.

[MT Gianni]

Hunting Elk out in the sage flat I had to go now. 15" of snow, it was lay the rifle against a piece of sage, drop the bibs, right hand in the snow, legs forward as if I was in a recliner and try to keep both cheeks above the snow. I was doing great when a family my son knew came around the two track in a 6 pack truck full of people. I could have cared less but he was as embarrassed as could be. I stayed clean which is due to practice with bibs, it is easy to get stuff on the straps.

[GaryN]

Sounds like a new way to see game. Just lower your pants and the animals come out. I guess they think you are incapacitated. Maybe they could even come out with a new line of camoflage that has an image printed on it that looks like your pants are lowered. :bigsmyl2:

[C. Latch]

In 1991 my dad was away from his stand taking care of an urge one opening morning when what he described as a nice 8-point came cruising by hot on a doe's trail.

He didn't want to go hunting the next morning and jokingly told me to 'go back over to my stand tomorrow morning and kill that buck'.

It was my first 8-point; he came by about 7:15 with his nose to a doe's tail, about 70 yards away. I was tickled to death.

[AnthonyB]

OK, this is no shinola (phrase that guarantees a military guy is about to tell a true story). I was at the National Training Center in 1996 as a M109A6 Paladin Battery Commander. Had a driver and a Hummer, and had spent the entire rotation with this Spec 4. We finally hit ENDEX, which meant there wasn't anything fo me to do and I needed to get out of the way of the NCOs as they took care of business. I hadn't showered or taken a relaxing sit down the entire rotation, so I kicked my driver out of the truck and drove to the mountains that separate Force on Force from the Live Fire area. Pulled out the crapper chair, laid out the water cans and started heating some water for a bucket bath, and then commenced what I came to do. So, I'm sitting naked on the crapper chair and I hear a helicopter in the valley below. Aviation guys were heading in to Irwin as well, so no worries. All of a sudden, the News 9 live camera crew and their helicopter are hovering 150 feet in front of me at about 100 feet altitude. There is a very attractive blonde reporter trying not to turn completely red, and a pilot laughing his *** off as he buzzed me two times. I didn't get that bath until we were back in the Dust Bowl. Sadly, that is only my second most embarrassing NTC story.
Tony

[Tom_in_AZ]

Years ago I was bad to lean my rifle against a tree and step away a couple steps to do my business.
One day my uncle shot a pretty nice buck while taking care of business. I asked him how he reached his rifle and he said he never squatted without his rifle in reach.

Since then I keep my gun in reach but I've never had this happen to me yet.

Words to live by.

[Tom_in_AZ]

OK, this is no shinola (phrase that guarantees a military guy is about to tell a true story). I was at the National Training Center in 1996 as a M109A6 Paladin Battery Commander. Had a driver and a Hummer, and had spent the entire rotation with this Spec 4. We finally hit ENDEX, which meant there wasn't anything fo me to do and I needed to get out of the way of the NCOs as they took care of business. I hadn't showered or taken a relaxing sit down the entire rotation, so I kicked my driver out of the truck and drove to the mountains that separate Force on Force from the Live Fire area. Pulled out the crapper chair, laid out the water cans and started heating some water for a bucket bath, and then commenced what I came to do. So, I'm sitting naked on the crapper chair and I hear a helicopter in the valley below. Aviation guys were heading in to Irwin as well, so no worries. All of a sudden, the News 9 live camera crew and their helicopter are hovering 150 feet in front of me at about 100 feet altitude. There is a very attractive blonde reporter trying not to turn completely red, and a pilot laughing his *** off as he buzzed me two times. I didn't get that bath until we were back in the Dust Bowl. Sadly, that is only my second most embarrassing NTC story.
Tony

I won't even try to top that story.

[robg]

my ex wife and a friend were about 15 had to have a pee ,so they went behind a hedge into a field .when they finished there business a whistle blew and about 20 army guys emerged from the grass in full camo.

[elk hunter]

My favorite.124012

[44man]

Yeah, had the urge behind a boulder, watched 40 doe go by but no bucks. Buck only
Had to pee once varmint hunting, chuck came up in front. I took the C&B out and busted him with all hanging out!
Used to wash at the game lands after sweating putting up stands. I heard a car coming, got clothes on to see two pretty girls to bow hunt. WOW, close call.
Friend was out to hunt, had to go. He has Chemo and no gall bladder either. I know he was not back far enough to keep the load from going in his pants. I don't know what he sat in!
A friend and I hunted up a road with rock and gravel. He said don't step there. I seen toilet paper. He pooped on the road because he was afraid to go in the woods because of bears. He went next to a trailer camper too.

[Hamish]

A friend and I hunted up a road with rock and gravel. He said don't step there. I seen toilet paper. He pooped on the road because he was afraid to go in the woods because of bears. He went next to a trailer camper too.

Wasnt Dave by any chance, was it,,,,,,,,,,,:bigsmyl2:

[CraigC]

I was hog hunting in Florida. Hadn't seen anything all morning. Got down to take a squat and a big boar came trotting by about 20ft away. He stopped, looked at me and kept trotting. My Marlin .44 was leaning against a tree 10ft away.

While hog hunting in the swamps of South Carolina, I had a good sized boar come in to the bait and start munching. After I popped him with the Clements custom .44 Bisley, I thought it'd be a good time to eat my sandwich. Halfway through another hog came trotting through. He wasn't planning on staying long. I don't know how I was able to do it but I dropped the sandwich in my lap, grabbed the pistol and put some more wild pork in the dirt just as he looked up at me.

[MT Beard]

Years ago a friend and I were still hunting together. Towards the end of the day we were about 50 yards apart when I felt an urgent need to relieve my bladder. Slung the rifle on my shoulder, futtzed around with my fly and :takinWiz:. About 5 seconds into that glorious whiz, my buddy shoots. ***? Look over at him just as he shoots again. Look directly to my front and I'll be, there is a buck dropping to the ground! The next year I had to take a leak and leaned the rifle against a tree, look up and a buck and doe are staring at me from 30 yards[smilie=b: Rifle never leaves my hands these days

[**oneshot**]

Bowhunting, walked well away from my stand to take care of business. Got to a nice log to lean on, set my bow on the ground, undid my belt and as I started to squat a young buck comes walking right at me. I grabbed the bow(arrow already knocked) and dropped to my knees at the same time. Shot the buck at about 7yds as he walked by perfectly on my shooting side. After my heart slowed down I finished my business and went to find my deer. I never would have seen the deer from my stand.

[44man]

Wasnt Dave by any chance, was it,,,,,,,,,,,:bigsmyl2:
It WAS Dave that I thought filled his pants but it was Karl that was afraid of bears! :bigsmyl2:
We were bow hunting and a guy with us carried his long johns and put them on before he got on stand. He was standing there all in white when a buck walked up. He got his bow and made a good shot. White is good and I used snow camo a lot even with leaves on the trees.