My last day with Felix

[MBTcustom]

I got up this morning and checked the site, then got myself together, kissed my wife and daughter goodbye, and started the 2+ hour drive for Fort Smith Arkansas to see my friend. Probably for the last time.
I listened to loud music on the way (not my usual habit) and tried to think of other things as I drove. Tried not to think about facing a situation that I have never really faced before.
As I drove, I thought about this place, and the things that have happened since I first logged on here and saw the cat running with the bomb who posted cryptic messages to people that was just beyond where their experience lies.
I thought about the different personalities that we have here, and the motivations behind different members. I kept wondering "Why" Why are we here? Why does it matter? Why is cast boolits the way it is?

I found myself in Felix's town without coming to any conclusions. I phoned Nick and asked where to meet, and he told me to come by the house and come on in. A few minutes later I was walking into the living room and shaking hands with Nick. We swapped conversation about our jobs and caught up on what was happening in our separate worlds. I think we were both trying to keep from thinking about why we were both away from our jobs on a weekday.
We decided to go to the hospital where Felix is staying, so we got in his car and went on over, navigated the parking lot, climbed the concrete steps, down the hall, up the elevator, and soon I was walking through a door that had a strip of paper next to it that read "Robins". There I saw the man himself propped up in the hospital bed. He recognized me and smiled broadly.
I asked him how he was feeling, knowing the foolishness of that question. He just smiled in an understanding way and mumbled something, but he took my hand and told me how glad he was to see me.
From that point forward, I found myself on the brink of tears, but Mrs. Robbins was an absolute rock, and gave strength to us boys and we managed to keep it together.
I told Felix about all the people here who asked me to pass on their well wishes, and called their screen names. He recognized most of them.
I volunteered to read him the replies to his final thread, and I was asked to please do so. I'm afraid I was reading too slow because I was having to pause often to brush off the deep emotion that was being inflamed by each heartfelt post there.
Felix told me to give him the laptop so he could read it for himself. I set the computer in his lap and Nick and I stood on either side and helped him as best we could to navigate the thread. He read for a while and then wanted to see the pictures of the rifle I had done for him (the crazy Staff there wouldn't allow us to bring the gun up into his room, despite our implorations).
After that, we decided to go to lunch at the fishhouse. We traded stories of Felix and guns, and shooting, then we went back.
The next few hours were wonderful. Mrs. Robins got some sleep and so did Felix and us fellers talked about guns and shooting and boolits.
Felix woke up and started getting in on the conversation as best he could. He is very week, and barely able to talk, but we hung on every word, like drops of water from a spigot in the middle of the desert, that once fed an entire oasis but soon will cease to even drip.
Finally, it was time for me to go, and I shook Felix's hand for the last time. He charged me, he blessed me, then he said goodbye. Told me it's never easy to say goodbye. I mumbled something about never forgetting him, I shook his hand one more time....and I walked out of the room.
I spent more time with the family, we had some wonderful conversations, and then I got in my truck and headed for home.
I was thinking again on the way back about "Why".
Why are we here? Why does it matter? Why is cast boolits the way it is?

This is why:
102097

It's not about faster boolits, better equipment, who's better than who, or what works and what doesn't.
It's about family. It's about people, and doing right by your fellow man, because even if he's a stranger, if he likes to do things on his own, shoot cast boolits, and love his country, and the people in it, he's not so strange after all.
Even to the very last conversation, Felix was trying to help me to be a better marksman and a better booliteer. I really don't think he cares as much about the boolits as he does about the guy holding the mold, and that's something we should all observe.
From Felix: God bless every one of you!

[btroj]

Dammit Tim, I keep tearing up enough already over this.

Felix has always been a true class act. I greatly appreciate you keeping us in the loop on this. You have proven what kind of man you are.

I only wish I had been able to meet Felix at some point.

Thanks Tim.

[HollandNut]

well said , thanks for going in proxy for all of us who couldn't be there

[aspangler]

You were truly bless by your visit. Thank you for sharing. I will miss his posts and his advise. I have been prying for him and his family ever since I heard. God bless him and his family and Go bless you for sharing.

[DLCTEX]

Thanks Tim.

[TXGunNut]

Thanks for sharing your visit with us. Glad you had a safe trip.

[MBTcustom]

well said , thanks for going in proxy for all of us who couldn't be there

That's exactly what I intended to do. I told Felix how much you care for him, but the important thing is that he cares about you. Probably more.
I'm still just asking myself why this is happening. Why do the good ones get the same amount of time or less than the others.....

[Boerrancher]

Thank you Tim for that post. You are so right about the most important element being the man holding the mold. We are a family here and I have been away for a bit but soon I will post as to why I have not been around much, for my trials and tribulations pale in comparison to the coming loss of Felix. I will make sure I say a prayer for him and his family as well as for this Family here. Felix will surely be missed by those of us who read his posts, and I am thankful for this place where a man like Felix's knowledge and in many ways his essence will be preserved.

Best wishes,

Joe

[TXGunNut]

I'm still just asking myself why this is happening. Why do the good ones get the same amount of time or less than the others..... Tim

A better question is how you can live as full a life as Felix has and pass on as much knowledge as he has. We know each day is a blessing but I too have known folks that I felt left us too soon, even though I know it's not for us to say when is "too soon".

[mpbarry1]

Thanks Tim. God bless you for your kindness.

[Teddy (punchie)]

Thanks for sharing !! TIM !!


I tell very few this but sound like Felix is liking unto this saying I have:

I only know of a few people in this class. People that are not relatives or family, or that you are in love with. People that are wise and gentle and just have a way about them that is truthful and sincere, that you hate to see go. For you still have questions and would love to learn more, and look for there truthful wisdom in there reply. So much to still learn and like you are learning it with them as they teach you. They are not hard or stern in the way they talk. Every one like at I have met I was sadden by them passing. All were God children, and as his Son promised, we will all be remember and with him one day. Very very few in this class.

[1989toddm]

Bless you Tim for going to spend time with our mentor. "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4.

[MBTcustom]

Thanks for sharing !! TIM !!


I tell very few this but sound like Felix is liking unto this saying I have:

I only know of a few people in this class. People that are not relatives or family, or that you are in love with. People that are wise and gentle and just have a way about them that is truthful and sincere, that you hate to see go. For you still have questions and would love to learn more, and look for there truthful wisdom in there reply. So much to still learn and like you are learning it with them as they teach you. They are not hard or stern in the way they talk. Every one like at I have met I was sadden by them passing. All were God children, and as his Son promised, we will all be remember and with him one day. Very very few in this class.

That pretty much sums it up.

[Reg]

You did the right thing.

[338RemUltraMag]

Tim,

Thank you for this, I cried when I saw the picture, I didn't reply to his thread... I just couldn't bare to think of him as gone. But so long as we continue to love eachother and help eachother Felix is never really gone.

At least thats how I see it.

God bless
Joshua

[lylejb]

Thank you for this.

[Bzcraig]

Tim you proved your character by going to see Felix in our place and Felix has proven his character by his response to your presence. Thanks for doing a very hard thing for the right reason!

[LUBEDUDE]

Thank you Tim. Well said, well done my friend.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Tim, Thanks for sharing.
visits like that are tough...but mean so much.

[badbob454]

i didnt know felix.... just he was a fellow shooter ,yet i choke up and fight back the tears the friendship of this bunch of guys and gals sticking together in this old world ,,, thanks all for being there , i did post on felix thread because he is and will always be one of us.

[smokeywolf]

Tim,

Thank you for this, I cried when I saw the picture, I didn't reply to his thread... I just couldn't bare to think of him as gone. But so long as we continue to love eachother and help eachother Felix is never really gone.

At least thats how I see it.

God bless
Joshua

I must thank Joshua for providing the words to my thoughts.

Tim, thank you for conveying our love, respect, our feelings of both admiration and of loss to Felix, for the rest of us.

smokeywolf

[freebullet]

Thank you for sharing.

[hithard]

The people on this site are absolutly amazing.....As Felix showed the way, so are you Tim.

[Bloodman14]

I am having a hard time seeing the screen as I write this, but, may I make a suggestion? Create a special archive entitled "Fired Boolits" or something similar, and archive everything ever posted by the members who have passed on. I can think of no better way to honor and preserve the knowledge and memory of those outstanding family members who have given so much of their time to this endeavor.

[MtGun44]

Tim -

Thank you for the update. I recently had to say goodbye to a friend of over 30 yrs that I had done many
things (different hobby, homebuilt aircraft) with - traveled many places on his wing or him on mine.
It was very hard and I had no really good words for that time. So, I have somewhat of an
idea what was going through your head, and if I might say - your heart, too.

I never knew Felix in person, but always enjoyed his postings. This is a difficult
time for all of us. Thanks for bringing this to the Cast Boolits community.

Bill

[lead-1]

Darn dogs are stirring up the dust again. You stay strong also Tim and thanks for sharing the visit.

[Uncle Jimbo]

You're a kind and good man Goodsteel. There are not many left in this world and we will be losing another shortly.
Thank you.

[Recluse]

Thank you, Tim. Well done.

Family is not about biology as even a mere houseplant has the ability to reproduce. Instead, family is about the love and commonalities that bind us together into a unit of single purpose, which is to love one another as God loves us.

Easier to type than to do, but then again, Life is about the Journey and Love is about the Destination.

Again, Tim, well done and thank you for not only making the trip, but sharing it with us.

:coffee:

[Iowa Fox]

Thanks Tim. I've been wondering about him every day.

[Old School Big Bore]

Thanks for this, Tim. And I agree with Gunnard. Maybe 'Gone Downrange'? 'On the Way'? 'Mid-Flight'? 'Watchin' Their Trace'? I dunno, but something boolitish.
Ed <><

[jcwit]

Thanks Tim. I haven't posted anything about Felix as I just can't but my feelings into words. God Bless.

[GREENCOUNTYPETE]

thanks Tim , it's not often my eyes leak for a a person I've never met , but the love yall share here for knowledge and boolit brothers is definitely something special. you had a lot of why's as do I , maybe I can help with one , Why is castboolits the way it is ?

Why is castboolits the way it is? Love , love of god , love of country/world , love of knowledge , love of sharing , love of learning, love of shared experience , and love of brother man

As much as I like some might say love the guns and boolits , it's about love of shared experience boolits and guns are our shared experience , no there are few thing outside of religion that people get so passionate about than guns and the shared experience around them. castboolits helps us to share the experience with boolit brothers from all corners of the earth and just down the road a piece and bring new knowledge to our corner of the world.

[Bloodman14]

Thanks for this, Tim. And I agree with Gunnard. Maybe 'Gone Downrange'? 'On the Way'? 'Mid-Flight'? 'Watchin' Their Trace'? I dunno, but something boolitish.
Ed <><

Yeah, "Gone Downrange" seems just fine.

[tommag]

That's exactly what I intended to do. I told Felix how much you care for him, but the important thing is that [you[/I]. Probably m
I'm still just asking myself why this ihappening. Why do the good ones get the same amount of time or less than the others.....

I'm not eloquent, but I'll try to answer your question.
Our time here is brief when compared to eternity. While the bad sometimes prosper, and the good may be afflicted, these things are only temporary. The real conditions we will face will be eternal.

Felix has given selflessly. I think we all know where that ends up.
Thank you, Tim, for visiting Felix, and reporting.

[dagunnut]

Tim and Nick Thank You for that!

I know that it was not easy to go and say good bye to a friend and such a positive influence.

Tim he may have not been related by blood but he is as close to family as one could ever get. He has definitely left his mark on these forums and will forever be missed. I said a prayer for him and his family but never posted anything because I never new what to say. I never meet the man but his post were full of knowledge and well beyond my years. He had a way of expressing himself in words that made reading his post pleasure-full. You usually learned something from his post or at least I did

Mario
dagunnut

[trapper9260]

Thank you for what you have done and shear the pic and also about your trip .I know it is not easy for anyone to see a friend and love one , I have lost a friend years ago and the last time I seen him he was doing good and then later on that same year I found out he died and at the time I last seen him.I had my 2 coydogs with me and I have not seen him so happy for the time I know him then that one time.He was more of a grandfarther then my own grandfarther was. He was a fur buyer and he had teach me alot about trapping and fur.I still miss him. just like I mis my parents and it was not easy to see them go.i just like to thank you Tim.

[enfield]

That was a wonderful thing you did, thanks for representing all of us, I can just imagine how hard it would have been to finally leave. Thanks again for sharing this. Ward.

[kbstenberg]

Thank you Tim!

[Lloyd Smale]

thank you tim for that. I think every time i fire up a pot he will cross my mind like a couple other friends on here that have gone on and in that way live through me a bit.

[Ajax]

Tim,
I want to thank you form the bottom of my heart. Felix has influenced more than he will ever know. I just wish we could all come in and give him our love and prayers personally. I for one would love to see a "downrange" section for our lost loved ones here. The fellowship and love shown here and i n Felix's thread is what makes this place my home on the net. Thank you brothers and sisters.


Andy

[PbHurler]

Thank you Tim for sharing this, you're a hell of a good man.

It's gonna be a solumn day today.

God bless you Felix, God bless you Tim.

[jeepyj]

Tim,
Your words bring a tear. Your actions are beyond words. What you did for Felix leaves me speechless. Your top notch in my book.
Tim (jeepyj)

[Artful]

Thanks for what you did and posting it here - I'm off to get some Kleenex now.

[MrWolf]

Just... Thanks Tim...

[Pb Burner]

Tim....
A very heartfelt thank you. Thanks for what you did. Thanks for sharing.

[kenyerian]

Thanks Tim!!

[375RUGER]

Tim,
Thank you!!

[tchepone]

Thank you Tim, for visiting and posting about your last visit with Felix. I must echo the words of Josh. Felix will be missed and remembered forever.....Gil

[Freightman]

Tim thanks for your caring! If you remember we talked, and just from that conversation I knew what kind of man you were, sad about Felix but the pain will all be gone and the rest will begin. Go With God you will always be a winner.

[BeeMan]

Thank you Tim.

[gnoahhh]

Thanks, Tim. You're a good man.

I hadn't stopped by this forum in a while (I usually go straight to the 'technical' forums) and was shocked to hear the news. I feel better now knowing one of us went to see Felix and comfort him.

[gray wolf]

Thank you Tim,
God bless and be with you always.
Looking at that picture pegged my sadness meter.
Thank you for being there in our stead.

Felix, you will be missed

Gray Wolf

[pmer]

From that point forward, I found myself on the brink of tears, but Mrs. Robbins was an absolute rock, and gave strength to us boys and we managed to keep it together.

From Felix: God bless every one of you!

God bless the ladies and how they can give strength when guys need it! Thanks for the picture.

[jakec]

thank you sir.

[TheDoctor]

Thank you very, very much for going, and for letting Felix know how much he means to us.

[brstevns]

Thank you Tim. God is Watching and Loving

[nekshot]

thanks Tim, and I sure am going to miss the picture of the cat running with the bomb, but at times like this it is important to ask the questions that only God in His mercy can answer. Amazing how easy it is to shed some tears for a man you never met! God bless the family!

[Doc Highwall]

Thank you, Tim. Well done! I just wished I lived closer to make the trip with you also. I still remember losing my best friend about 30+ years ago that taught me a lot about shooting and every time I pick up my Winchester 52C that I bought from him I say Thank You Murray!

[DanWalker]

Thanks Tim. It was reading stuff from guys like Felix back in 1996 that helped me with so many newbie problems and got me pouring good boolits way sooner than I would have on my own. This place and the many fine men who reside in it are a treasure trove of knowledge, wisdom, comeraderie, and kindness. I am deeply grateful for it and for you ALL. It is men like Felix and BruceB and Waksupi, and AL and many others who've paved the way for so many of us. I try to share what I have learned here, and to hopefully contribute what little I can to the discussions. To steal a phrase from Stephen Hawking, we are all "Standing on the shoulders of giants." God bless you all and thanks for being who and what you are....

[missionary5155]

Good morning Brother Tim
Thanks for posting all this. I am Blessed and happily await the day of His return when the Family will gather together.
Mike in Peru

[torker]

Tim, Thank you for your kindness and caring ways. We all shall miss the man who has shown many here the way.

God Bless you.

[osteodoc08]

Thanks Tim. Words cannot express how I feel right now. I'm glad you were able to be there on behalf of not only yourself but also everyone else.

[Uncle R.]

Goodsteel:
Thank you for this.
Thank you very much.
Uncle R.

[shooterg]

Goodsteel - you and Felix are both class acts. Good on you.

[Mooseman]

Thank You for relaying our love and respect to him Tim !
Rich

[MBTcustom]

Thank You for relaying our love and respect to him Tim !
Rich

I mentioned you by name Rich. He was glad to hear it.

[GaryN]

Thanks Tim. Goodbye Felix.

[bayjoe]

You did a very tough thing and I admire you for what you did.
I don't know Felix but thru the posts he is admired by many and will be missed.

[JWFilips]

Thank You Tim for sharing this.... I Hope Felix makes his transition well and his Universal energy will remember us as we will remember him!
You have brought tears to my eyes , Sir! Thank you !
Jim

[PB234]

Tim, just another voice expressing prayers for Felix, his family and you.

[slim1836]

Thank you Goodsteel for all you have done, I know that you brought joy to Felix in that visit. What you did is to be commended. I know you did that from the heart and so does all who read your post.

There are some who cannot express the way they feel at moments like this and I am one of those, it's just hard to do and some can handle it better than others.

Your visit tells not only myself but also Felix that this is indeed a family we have here at Cast Boolits. We will soon lose a member of this family, however, his legacy will live on.

Slim

[Wayne Smith]

Thank you Tim for standing in our stead. Thank you for taking a day of work off to go see Felix. He will be greatly missed here and we are the poorer for his eventual leaving us. Yes, this is about family and about love. Felix is greatly loved here by people who have never met him and would not recognize him in the street.

[Fishman]

Tim, you have a gift for words. Thank you for sharing this.

[AlaskanGuy]

Bless you sir, for being there for us and for him....

Mark

[Heavy lead]

The people here make me smile.

[retread]

Thanks Tim. God Bless you.

[Mumblypeg]

Thank You....

[cbrick]

Thanks for the update Tim. Was good to hear that felix had the chance to read what so many here expressed. Walking into the hospital room had to be a very tough thing & your efforts are truly appreciated.

Rick

[462]

Thank you, sir.

[ghh3rd]

Thanks for visiting him, for all of us.

[LAH]

Felix is top drawer for sure.

[MT Gianni]

Thanks Tim. One of the wonderful things about the internet is not finding true genius but finding true genius willing to mentor all freely. I am so glad this board and individuals of our common interest give of ourselves and Felix is the master.

[DIRT Farmer]

Thanks Tim

We all set a bar, some set it higher.

[afish4570]

Thanks for the visit update. Tough to get the right words together. Thank Felix for sharing his knowledge. afish4570

[MaryB]

I wasn't able to answer the other thread because of tears, this thread did me in. I may be new here but I have read a lot of the older posts and many of Felix's. I agree that a compilation of his threads and posts should be made. It is a treasure trove that we should preserve.

[Catshooter]

That's a very point you make Tim. Focus on the person holding the mould. That's an easy thing to lose. At least for me.

I will try to honor Felix and do better.


Cat

[scarry scarney]

Tim-thank you

[OeldeWolf]

thank you, Tim.

[contender1]

I left home Thursday for a USPSA match in Ga. Of the many thoughts I had all weekend I kept returning to; "I wonder how Felix is doing?" I didn't have easy computer access, and I just got home a little while ago. I saw this thread.
I too want to thank Tim for visiting Felix "for all of us" so to speak.
My prayers continue.

[D Crockett]

this is the kind of man Felix is. a kind and giving man a few years ago I had a lube problem . so I pm Felix with my problem and in a very short time he took time out of his day to pm me back with a answer that I still use today and I still have the pm to . he gave very much to this forum and still is not even knowing the people he is helping new and old casters alike. I for one will miss the threads he wrights. like contender1 said thank you Tim for visiting Felix for us. and my prayers go out to Felix and his family. D Crockett

[butch2570]

Oh My, I don't know how I have missed all this until now, I'm saddened at this , Prayers out to Felix. Tim, your heart is one of gold .

[David2011]

Thank you for representing us all, Tim. You're a true Gentleman.

David

[Ramar]

Thank you Tim. Your a good man!
Ramar

[Charlie Two Tracks]

Even though it's been said before, thanks Tim. May God bless you.

[Pb2au]

Thank you very much Tim.

[TenTea]

May the blessings be...

[searcher4851]

Well done, Tim. Thank you.

[shdwlkr]

Tim
You did good and it was nice to have a picture to put with felix. Sad to think we are losing another great member.
Life is an unknown for most of us.

[Lloyd Smale]

have you heard any updates tim?

[Wis. Tom]

Thank you Tim, and may God comfort Felix, and his family, through this time, with blessings that only He can bring, and thank you fellow posters, as in this world of perpetual darkness, light shines brightly, through compassion and kindness.

[JeffinNZ]

I don't remember ever having to say good bye to someone in this way so can't imagine how hard it must have been.

Felix has contributed a huge amount to us however and he leaves shooting better off for his time and efforts. Plenty of people leave this world after doing nothing but take. While he will be a loss his gift of knowledge is our gain and his legacy.

[BPT]

I am Trey. I have known Felix for 18 years or so. I do not know how he has been yesterday or today, but Sunday he was worn out from getting to see Tim and talking guns with him all day (He enjoyed every minute of it). His family and I thank Tim and everyone here for the support.

I am happy to have been blessed with being able to go straight to him for all of my reloading/casting questions. I am no where near his level of knowledge, so I shall be here more. I leave yall with a picture of a little I have learned from Felix.

Trey
102411

[dragonrider]

Tim. Thanks for sharing

[Maven]

I don't remember ever having to say good bye to someone in this way so can't imagine how hard it must have been.

Felix has contributed a huge amount to us however and he leaves shooting better off for his time and efforts. Plenty of people leave this world after doing nothing but take. While he will be a loss his gift of knowledge is our gain and his legacy.

Jeff has it exactly right! I "met" Felix years ago on the old Shooters' Talk site and was impressed with his expertise and willingness to unconditionally share his knowledge with us. He and I corresponded several times and will always cherish that. Needless to say, I am shocked beyond words to learn that his health took a turn for the worse and confess I will miss him and his presence on this site dearly. Godspeed, my friend!

[ssnow]

"GoodSteel". What a name!!! I liked it immediately the first time I saw it :)

But I have learned it's more than a forum name. It describes the character of the Man who wears it.

I'd say Thanks, but you'd say it's nothing, because that what folks made of good steel do.

But it is Something, something very special.

So Thanks for being there, it's a difficult thing to do.

[lbaize3]

Thank you, Tim. Words simply fail me.

[AggieEE]

Thank you Goodsteel.

[Echo]

Thanks, Tim...

[HABCAN]

Tim, THANK YOU! And, ssnow's post #106 says it for me, too, better than I could myself.

[smokeywolf]

Anyone have an update on Felix?

smokeywolf

[wallenba]

Thinking of Felix today, any updates?

[Ajax]

Thinking of Felix myself can we please get a update?

Andy

[MBTcustom]

Felix is still with us, but just barely. The time is short

[SharpsShooter]

May God greet you as a friend Felix and ease the sorrows of those left behind....


SS

[Artful]

Thanks for the update Tim.

[gbrown]

I was very fortunate to be with both my mother and dad at the time of their passing. It's sad, but at the same time, a blessing--I was there for them! Strange stuff. There is no relating to it. Just can't say. Time has passed, and the pain is not as great. I just celebrate who they were and what they did with and FOR me. Thanks, Tim for sharing, and may Felix's time be peaceful. Same as with my parents, let's celebrate what Felix added to our lives.

[smokeywolf]

Thanks Tim, for the update.

"let's celebrate what Felix added to our lives." Very well said gbrown.

smokeywolf

[Charlie Two Tracks]

Thank you Tim for keeping us informed.

[Bad Water Bill]

TIM (Goodsteel) just reported that Felix has left us and is in a far better place.

[TheDoctor]

He will be missed until the next get together.

[PbHurler]

I hope to meet you one day Felix, rest in joyous peace.

[slim1836]

He lives on in our memories and his contributions.

Rest in peace.

Slim

[Comrade Mike]

Wonderful read. I never got to know Felix but I absolutely love this community.

[Estalio]

http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?241905-The-Life-Of-The-Goolden-Boolit-and-master-of-Lube-Felix