Paying For a Funeral

[B R Shooter]

This past September, my wife's youngest son died at 26 years old. Quite the shock to say the least. Unbelievable hurt and sorrow.

Her ex, the father, was present during all the arrangements and attended the funeral. My wife took the lead in doing the arrangements, and paid for everything with our credit card, just to get it done and not have any other issues to deal with.

The father has not offered to pay a dime. The total costs were over $13K, and it wasn't elaborate at all. We have sent two letters, one normal delivery asking him to pay half, and with no response, sent the second registered. He has refused to sign for it to except it.

So what do you do with an a$$hole like this? I'm not sure there is anything legally we can do, probably not even small claims court. I was going to reach out to his family for help, and see what that did. I sure would like to drag him through some mud of some kind.

[Love Life]

You can do nothing. He made no offer to help pay. Your wife (and you) mad the conscious and willing decision to pay for it all at the time.

It is a crappy situation, speaks volumes about the "Father", but in the end I believe you are stuck with the bill.

[btroj]

Yep, you are stuck.

While dragging him thru the mud may make you feel better in the short term I suggest you to take the high road and know that you did the right thing.

He is a complete jerk, obviously, and trying to get money from him will only cause you pain, sorry, and grief.

You can get up in the morning knowing you did the right thing, that matters. Don't degrade that by being spiteful.

[Love Life]

Nothing wrong with giving somebody a couple well made knuckle sandwiches. Just saying.

[plmitch]

Some good advice here. Been through a similar situation.

[jcwit]

Yep, you are stuck.

While dragging him thru the mud may make you feel better in the short term I suggest you to take the high road and know that you did the right thing.

He is a complete jerk, obviously, and trying to get money from him will only cause you pain, sorry, and grief.

You can get up in the morning knowing you did the right thing, that matters. Don't degrade that by being spiteful.

YUP! And stay on The High Road.

Little is solved with a knuckle sandwich, other than a law suit brought forth by the other party.

[Love Life]

Prove it.

[Love Life]

Oh, good morning everybody!

[btroj]

Seeing that I am not the biggest, brawniest guy that isn't my method of dealing with things. Just not my style.

[uscra112]

Oh, good morning everybody!

You were asleep for the previous post!

[jcwit]

Prove it.

My nephew's a Lawyer.

[jcwit]

Seeing that I am not the biggest, brawniest guy that isn't my method of dealing with things. Just not my style.

My problem also, 70 years old and 5'4" & fat, well lets say chubby.

I will say the father is an xxxhole.

[Love Life]

One day I hope to be 74 and fat with a big ol' smile on my face. Oh, and surrounded by my kids, grandkids, and few great grandkids!!

[RoyEllis]

My nephew's a Lawyer.

You have my sincerest condolences.

[WilliamDahl]

Let's look at it from a legal responsibility standpoint. The son was 26 years old at the time, so he was not a dependent of his father or his mother. Any bills that he ran up, he was responsible for. His funeral is just another such bill. You wife did not have any legal responsibility to cover the cost of his funeral. She chose to cover the cost, so she was the client of the funeral home, not the son. The father is not responsible for the bills of the son or the ex-wife. As for whether he should have offered to pay, that is another story. Without knowing the entire history of the relationship between him, his ex-wife, and the son, I would probably reserve judgement. All too often, such relationships are messy by nature.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

This past September, my wife's youngest son died at 26 years old. Quite the shock to say the least. Unbelievable hurt and sorrow.

Her ex, the father, was present during all the arrangements and attended the funeral. My wife took the lead in doing the arrangements, and paid for everything with our credit card, just to get it done and not have any other issues to deal with.

The father has not offered to pay a dime. The total costs were over $13K, and it wasn't elaborate at all. We have sent two letters, one normal delivery asking him to pay half, and with no response, sent the second registered. He has refused to sign for it to except it.

So what do you do with an a$$hole like this? I'm not sure there is anything legally we can do, probably not even small claims court. I was going to reach out to his family for help, and see what that did. I sure would like to drag him through some mud of some kind.

So, I assume this 26 year old man had no insurance or assets to be liquidated to pay for the funeral?
If this was the case, it would sure seem sensible for the two parents to discuss the funding of the agreed upon arrangements.
Since that seems lacking, I can only surmise that 100% of your anger SHOULDN'T be directed at the decease's father.

[jcwit]

You have my sincerest condolences.

It helps when you need to make out a will.

Family fees are much more reasonable.

[Idaho Mule]

One day I hope to be 74 and fat with a big ol' smile on my face. Oh, and surrounded by my kids, grandkids, and few great grandkids!! Something tells me you will be, and I hope to achieve the same lofty goals. Lets have a beer together then. JW

[Love Life]

He got you good, jcwit!!

[gray wolf]

My problem also, 70 years old and 5'4" & fat, well lets say chubby.
Stocky

[jcwit]

stocky

lol!!

[btroj]

I thought husky was the proper term

[remy3424]

big boned I am

[country gent]

You did the right thing in providing for the funneral thats a given. As to the Father harrassing him for his share with court or whatever means seems fitting isnt going to change anything, hes proven hes not going to help out already. This is a fight that cant be won in a satisfactory way. In the end it wont bring her son back but will create alot of hard feelings and animosity. Sueing the father sounds good but all youl get is a settlemant then its up to you to collect, which becomes another long drawn out battle in its own right. This could go on for years creating issues and problems. Family is family weather ex or not there are bonds there. Remeber your wifes feeling also as pushing this will make clousure much harder as it will be a constant reminder of whats shes lost.

[prsman23]

This shows how important life insurance is. A 26yr life insurance policy would be next to nil. Make sure all of your love ones are covered. No one wants to think about it. But no one wants to go through this kind of situation either.

[btroj]

Everyone should have enough life insurance to pay for their own burial.

[jonp]

Prove it.
^^^^^i like your attitude

[jonp]

You can not do anything other than congratulate your wife on getting rid of a lowlife and thank her for picking you. 12k sounds a little much but if it made you both feel as though you gave him the proper respectful exit from this world then it was worth it.
If you think the dollar.amount was outrageous then join The Institute For Justice which is trying to break the monopoly of the funeral industry.

[country gent]

12 years ago my wifes funneral was between $8,000 and $9,000 nothing extravagent or bargin just a nice casket, quality liner/vault, 2 viewings and the other odds and ends. The plot was already in the family so I didnt have that expense. Its a rough time and very hard to deal with. Im sure alot get taken advantage of. I used a funneral home that the family has used for many years. Was a plus as I had delt with them before with my Dad durting Grandmas funneral. There were 3 printings of the little info cards for my wifes funeral thru the 2 viewing. The funneral home had to open extrarooms for her viewing do to turn out.

[enfield]

weddings and funerals, both are a big waste of money.

[dave 45-90]

We carry a 25000.00 life insurance policy on all of them.....It's cheap when they are young and they can keep it when they get older

[GT27]

Karma bites everyone for doing wrong,I'm for sure we have all been bitten in the haunches at one time or the other,we have all been there! IMHO let Karma teach him a good lesson at her will,she's a real *****! Be the bigger man,your wife will definitely respect you for it! GT27

[Recluse]

First off, let's use the proper terminology for the lowlife. He is not a father--he is simply the sperm donor.

With that said, any assets the young man had should be remitted to your wife via his estate to offset costs associated with his funeral and burial arrangements.

My wife and I have it set up so that when either of us die, or both together (plane crash, car wreck, gov't jackboots, etc) we will be cremated. We don't give a rat's rear end where the ashes go. Toss 'em in the dumpster for all I care. I'm dead--what the hell do I care?

I do still have a very small bit of copper and lead in my right hip that I have willed to an old military pal with the instructions that if he can recover it from the crematorium, he is to smelt it, make a new boolit out of it and use it to permanently dispatch either a rattlesnake or an elected official, preferably the latter.

But for us, there will be no funeral, no headstone, no memorial, no nothing. If the adopted kids or grandkids want to do something, that is entirely up to them but we'd prefer not. Just send an e-mail or text out to whoever they feel needs to know letting them know that I kicked the bucket.

Likewise, if we both go at the same time, I could care less what happens to the guns, airplanes, house, hangar, bank accounts. It's set up to go to the kids and grandkids. There will be no fighting because it will simply go to next of kin.

I think the funeral industry is a huge racket and that it makes death harder than what it should be. In the old days, you went into a pine box, a few verses were read over you and into the ground you went. At sea, it was even easier, faster and cheaper--you got dumped overboard and were fish chum by the end of the day. What did you care? You were dead.

So as far as the deadbeat sperm donor? He's a self-centered *** lowlife and he has to live with that fact. Not a lot you can do to add to it. While it would be satisfying for a moment or two to beat hell out of him, it would accomplish less than nothing.



Seeing that I am not the biggest, brawniest guy that isn't my method of dealing with things. Just not my style.

We only had two guys on our old team in the military that could be considered big and/or brawny. The other seven were all 5'10" or under, less than 190 pounds, average to slight build, and could ruin your entire year so easy and so fast you'd never know exactly how it happened. Those old unarmed combat instructors were tricky, sadistic SOBs who knew ever trick in the book and made sure we knew them too.

Big, brawny guys have never worried me. Small scrawny guys who can calmly look you in the eye when a poop-storm is brewing scare me. There's a reason they're calm.

:coffee:

[WILCO]

This past September, my wife's youngest son died at 26 years old. Quite the shock to say the least. Unbelievable hurt and sorrow.

Sorry to read of this.

[grumman581]

You can not do anything other than congratulate your wife on getting rid of a lowlife and thank her for picking you. 12k sounds a little much but if it made you both feel as though you gave him the proper respectful exit from this world then it was worth it.
If you think the dollar.amount was outrageous then join The Institute For Justice which is trying to break the monopoly of the funeral industry.

I was recently at an oriental funeral where the coffin was a very nicely detailed wooden (Rosewood) coffin (not one of those mass produced stamped metal ones) and the body was shipped back to Taiwan afterward to be buried there. Including the shipping, the total cost was around $12K.

Personally, I'm of the view, "BBQ my butt and dump the ashes somewhere that no one can piss on my grave".

[starmac]

I'm thinking I would write it off. It can only hurt to argue over a funeral bill at this point. I can't imagine anything hurting my wife more than burying one of the kids, but fighting over the bill after the fact just might.

[Alvarez Kelly]

I'm thinking I would write it off. It can only hurt to argue over a funeral bill at this point. I can't imagine anything hurting my wife more than burying one of the kids, but fighting over the bill after the fact just might.

My thoughts exactly. The father has no legal obligation to pay. If he was going to, he would have already. There is nothing to gain but heart ache.

[DLCTEX]

More people I know are choosing cremation lately. I have insurance that would cover burial, but I would prefer cremation and the family put the money to better use. I have let this be known but leave the decision to those who remain as I consider funerals to be for the living, the dead no longer care.

[alamogunr]

My wife and I both have long term care insurance. This should preserve enough for end of life expenses. If it looks like circumstances will result in not enough $$ to bury us, hopefully I will realize it soon enough to take measures so that our sons will not have to bear the burden.

Either of them is well enough off that it would not be a real financial burden but the thought of them having to pay for our funerals does not sit well with me.

I can't imagine a father shirking when it comes to helping with a son's final expenses. I go with the majority and say that you will recover, he will not.

[MT Gianni]

JD, Close friend is a funeral director and has a crematorium. The copper will make it out as will any steel. gold or silver. The rest is probably going up the chimney.

[Oreo]

The only thing I can add besides my condolences is that in the big picture $13k really isn't much money. It's a big expense in the short term but you won't be thinking about it much in a few years. Thus, it's not worth digging the hole deeper with legal bills.

[TXGunNut]

I'm thinking I would write it off. It can only hurt to argue over a funeral bill at this point. I can't imagine anything hurting my wife more than burying one of the kids, but fighting over the bill after the fact just might.

I'd say your wife did the right thing at a difficult time and stepped up to cover her son's final expenses. Suspect she knew her ex would never do so, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Ex is under no legal obligation to share expenses and isn't likely to do so willingly so pushing the issue will produce little more than hard feelings. I've dealt with one funeral director a few times, he and his son are family friends. He doesn't like cremation, many old-school directors don't. I'd prefer to be cremated but I'd be OK with being wrapped in an old blanket and buried in the back yard. Good enough for my dog, good enough for me.

[OBIII]

Just write it off and send him a card once a year on the anniversary of the death.

OB

[alamogunr]

I'd be OK with being wrapped in an old blanket and buried in the back yard. Good enough for my dog, good enough for me.

Against the law in TN and I assume in many other states. A fellow I went to high school with tried this when his mother died except he used an old carpet as I remember. The authorities interceded and forced a conventional burial. He had gone off the deep end. This was back at the beginning of the hippie era.

[Lloyd Smale]

ive got an ex wife the screwed me not in a funeral but a simular situation with my son. I got screwed, she paid nothing and i learned a hard lesson. Anything in the future that involves more then a 100 bucks i will have my lawyer write up papers and make her sign saying she will take responsibilty for her share. Right now i WOULD PAY for her funeral!!!!!

[waksupi]

In Montana, you need a death certificate, and a disposal permit. Once you have them, you can use a back hoe, and bury someone anywhere you want. Scaffold burials are not permitted.

[blackthorn]

When we retired in 2004 we joined a Memorial Society ($5 or $10 each). We went to the Funeral home here in Kamloops and met with the director. We aranged for pick up of the remains, cremation etc. ($2000.00 each) So now all is in place and payed for, all it takes is for the funeral home to get the notification. I believe the funeral homes take unwarrented advantage of people in their time of sorrow! We were told that the $ spent will cover all, including some kind of Memorial service if the kids decide they want one. If not, there will be some cash value left over that will be returned to them. We have not yet gotten around to picking a place for the ashes to go, don't really care. I consider cemetaries a total waste of prime realestate! Having said that, I think the big power companies that have miles and miles of high voltage power transmission lines are missing out on a huge source of revenue, because those lines are never going to be shut down or moved so the right of ways that the company has to keep clear would make one heck of a graveyard!

[TXGunNut]

Against the law in TN and I assume in many other states. A fellow I went to high school with tried this when his mother died except he used an old carpet as I remember. The authorities interceded and forced a conventional burial. He had gone off the deep end. This was back at the beginning of the hippie era.

Family cemeteries are common in TX but quite honestly I wouldn't want to bother with that. If they can't figure out what to do with my ashes they can put them in a family plot in Bloomfield, NE, next to my dad's ashes. Cemetery allows two sets of cremains per plot.

[snuffy]

I just started paying for a burial plot. I also decided to be cremated. The ashes will go in what they call a "bench". A granite table with 2 legs that sits at the top of the plot. It has receptacles for four urns of ashes. I offered 2 of the spots to my son and his soon-to-be-wife. He was glad to hear I've made arrangements.

Since I have a lot of health issues, cancer, diabetes and some heart problems, I could go any day. I do have enough life insurance to cover expenses if I croak before the plot and "bench" are paid for.

BR shooter, I agree with those that have said to let go of any bad feelings about the boy's funeral costs. It would have been the right thing for him to offer to help pay for the funeral. It sounds like one last bit of spite from him to your wife.

[ridurall]

My father passed at age 91 last may 3rd. He wanted to be cremated and had already made arrangements. Wow I miss him but the whole funeral cost less than $5,000. I'm sorry to hear you going through this but you are obiviously a good man. My hat is off to you.

[Hawkeye45]

In my opinion you are doing the right thing. When I was in college my dad died and I was the only one in the family that would pay the funeral home. Even his brother, who lived across the street from him, would not help out.
You are the better person for it.

Mr. Ed

[grumman581]

In Montana, you need a death certificate, and a disposal permit. Once you have them, you can use a back hoe, and bury someone anywhere you want. Scaffold burials are not permitted.

Do the North American Indian groups still use the scaffold burials? Or are you talking about a different type of "scaffold burials"?

http://images.amcnetworks.com/blogs.amctv.com/wp-content/uploads/mt-legacy/hell-on-wheels/dakota-scaffold-burial-325.jpg

[AkMike]

You might just want to mention to his closest relatives that you're still waiting for him to come up with half of the costs. It's amazing what some pressure from family will make in a deal like this.

[wgr]

my wife,s ex is like that. i raised the two girls as mine and never ask are wanted his help. but that does make him a a**h***

[WilliamDahl]

I'm not saying that it is the case in this particular incident, but a lot of times, the kids are used as tools in divorces. I've known guys who were really screwed over by their ex-wife, even though they were not the one at fault in marriage. Personally, I believe in "to death do you part", but I really hope that it is not a case where prison follows afterwards. :)

It is possible that the ex in this case believes that he was screwed over by his ex-wife and this is his feeble attempt at getting even. What lead up to the divorce? For that matter, what lead up to the initial pregnancy? Did he even have visitation rights after the divorce? Without knowing the whole story, we are just making our judgements after hearing one side of the story. As they say, their are three sides to every divorce -- his side, her side, and the truth. Sometimes they actually overlap. Come to think of it, there's probably a fourth side -- what can be legally proved. :)

[starmac]

Judge any way you want, a guy that will not help pay for his own sons funeral has a sorry streak in him, no matter what his wife was like or what any conditions of his divorce was. A son is a son period.

[WilliamDahl]

Judge any way you want, a guy that will not help pay for his own sons funeral has a sorry streak in him, no matter what his wife was like or what any conditions of his divorce was. A son is a son period.

I am hesitant to use absolutes. What if the guy had made it plain that he did not want kids and the woman had agreed to this and then chose to go off of "the pill" to intentionally get pregnant to get him to marry her or whatever? As far as I'm concerned, the woman should have the entire responsibility of raising and caring for the kid in such a situation. She wanted the kid and she should be totally responsible for it.

I'm not saying that is the case here, but I just am careful about making absolutes in cases like this. Family situations can be a bit messy at times.

Unfortunately, people do not consider all the consequences and have legally enforceable documents drawn up prior to having sex. Just think what a hit that would do to their libido if they had to enumerate every possible outcome and the responsibilities of each party before every casual sex encounter. :)

It's quite possible that the only reason that some of us who grew up (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/sow+wild+oats) in the '60s and early '70s did not end up having to pay child support is that we either didn't use our real names or she was too drunk to remember our name. :) As they say, playing the single scene these days is like playing Russian Roulette with a M1911. Personally, I'm glad that I'm too old to have to worry about it anymore.

[starmac]

It's called the efing you get for the efing you got in a case like that. My son can tell you all about that party kid thing, after a lot of trips from here to Texas and quite a bit of money, he wound up with full custody and is raising my grandson. I have a cousin that had one like it, but the gal married before the kid came along. he got a lawyer and forced them to get a dna test, just in case it was his, yea he wound up paying the hospital bill and lifelong child support payments, but it was his son.

[waksupi]

Do the North American Indian groups still use the scaffold burials? Or are you talking about a different type of "scaffold burials"?

http://images.amcnetworks.com/blogs.amctv.com/wp-content/uploads/mt-legacy/hell-on-wheels/dakota-scaffold-burial-325.jpg

That is the type that is no longer allowed. I have seen some contemporary memorial scaffolds in one remote Indian burial ground, but they are rare. The body is interred, and the scaffolds only hold offerings.

[WilliamDahl]

It's called the efing you get for the efing you got in a case like that. My son can tell you all about that party kid thing, after a lot of trips from here to Texas and quite a bit of money, he wound up with full custody and is raising my grandson. I have a cousin that had one like it, but the gal married before the kid came along. he got a lawyer and forced them to get a dna test, just in case it was his, yea he wound up paying the hospital bill and lifelong child support payments, but it was his son.

Some people have the predisposition to be parents and some don't. Unfortunately, it doesn't prevent them from biologically having kids. Other than complete abstinence, there is no common birth control method that is truly 100% effective. The closest you are going to get is if the woman has a full hysterectomy (with bilateral oophorectomy) (which also removes the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and uterus, then there is a zero chance of pregnancy, but this is not normally considered a means of "birth control"). Even "getting her tubes tied" or a guy "getting clipped" is not 100%. This can grown back together in certain situations.

We have a strong biological / evolutionary desire to propagate. Our rational minds might say that we should wait until we have the proper mate, but I'm not so naive to think that teenagers or young adults will be "rational". The best we can hope for is that their mating rituals don't result in disease, pregnancy, or dangerous relationships. I wish that kids could learn from the bad experiences of others, but for whatever reason, they are doomed to have to repeat the mistakes to learn for themselves all too often. It kind of like telling your dog not to pester the skunk that came into your yard. He's not going to learn until he gets a face full of that stink. :(

[B R Shooter]

Thanks for all the comments. We are going to ask a friend who has a parent as an attorney if there is anything that can legally be done, with the verbal exchanges that took place during the time. If there isn't, then the only thing we will do is shame him to all of his family, letting them know what kind of character, or lack of, he has. While I would take great joy in just one hit to his face, aint gonna happen. I'm not going to jail for the likes of him.

[Lloyd Smale]

pretty easy going here. Our township has a cemetary. If your a resident of the township you can have 2 burial plots for free. I signed up and got the 4 my wife and i were alocated. Did my own landscapeing around them and my mother in laws ashes were put there last summer. Nice thing is that if your burying ashes you can do it on your own without even notifiying them. If its a casket they want to dig the whole so you dont hit any of there water lines going that deap. They charge a 100 bucks. You can do anything you want for a headstone and place them yourself. Its actually a nice cemetary. We have an all war memorial there with a brick walkway, big memorial stone and a picknic area. My plot is spitting distance from the memorial. Its also right on lake Superior so its very pretty. So when i die all my wife will need to pay for is the grill master.

[mold maker]

In all this discussion I didn't hear anyone mention the fathers financial ability.
There have been time in my life when a loaf of bread was a stretch. I'd hate to think all this ill will could be because of his inability to pony up.
Just saying.

[1Shirt]

This is an interesting thread. It makes me glad that the wife and I a few years ago pre paid for all of our funeral expenses. My daughter, asked if it was proper to say thank you for doing so? It is an extreme hardship on survivors particularly when a death is unexpected, and pre planning and pre paying may well be one of the best gifts we can give to our kids.
1Shirt!

[dtknowles]

I'm thinking I would write it off. It can only hurt to argue over a funeral bill at this point. I can't imagine anything hurting my wife more than burying one of the kids, but fighting over the bill after the fact just might.

I see this a good advice. You will not get any money and the pain will fester.

What happened to you is common and a lesson for others. I mean both the exorbitant bill and the unwillingness of others to pay it after the fact.

Tim

[popper]

Her ex, the father Probably the reason for the 'EX'. Make sure you do your TAX planning before you go. That can get expensive for any beneficiaries. Picking the right executor for your will is very important. Everyone over 18 should have a will, even one of those on-line, make-your-own & keep the codicils up to date. Also beware of the 'Joe' who calls and says your kid owed him money.

[fatelk]

Sorry for your loss. It makes it doubly hard when this kind of trouble comes up as well.

It's sad, but I think that some/many morticians are unethical vultures. My little sister lost her husband to a farm accident a few years ago. Their little girl turned one the day before the funeral. They had no insurance, health or life. She went through hell with the accident, trying to save him, life flights and emergency room, etc.. She was in a fog of emotional loss and numbness when they arranged the funeral. The local mortician seemed very kind and understanding so they had him take care of the arrangements. They told him the financial situation and again he was understanding.

Then came the bill; over the top high and padded like you wouldn't believe. She thought it must be a mistake so she sent him a letter asking (politely) if there was a mistake and if there was any way it could be trimmed back a bit. He shot back a nasty, demanding letter threatening collections and lawyers if she didn't pay up quick.

My dad went through it and found many things that were just blood-sucking greedy bill padding. He wanted to fight it legally because it just wasn't right, but they were all so emotionally drained from the loss of my brother-in-law that they just let it go and found a way to pay it. Yeah, I'm still a little bitter. I'm sure there are probably some honest morticians out there, but unfortunately there are some that will take advantage of you in a time of loss.

And to be honest, sometimes it really is best to just let it go, pay it off and move on, for the sake of the family.

[WilliamDahl]

It's sad, but I think that some/many morticians are unethical vultures.

For the most part, they have people at a disadvantage and they are willing to exploit it. Our culture has become one where we consider dealing with the dead to be undesirable or taboo. We pay them to do things that we do not want to do ourselves. And of course, the government (probably with the burial industry's help) has come up with laws and regulations that make it difficult for us to do it ourselves even if we wanted to.

Let's say that your spouse dies in a hospital. Will they even consider releasing the body to you? Or will they only release it to a funeral home? It's not like you can just keep the body in your chest freezer until you can negotiate a good deal with one of the funeral homes, right? You have a rotting piece of meat that you need to do something with very soon or it is going to be very unpleasant and they know it. The time for negotiations is BEFORE you die, not after it. But if you buy a funeral policy before you die, what guarantee do you have that the company will even be *around* when you die?

And for that matter, what guarantee do you even have that the cemetery that you are buried in will continue to be a cemetery after all the plots are sold and it is filled up? What's to say that someone isn't going to decide that it is a prime piece of real estate for a park or whatever? After the money quits coming in from the sale of new plots, are their reserves and investments such that they can continue to provide maintenance in perpetuity?

[Black Powder Bill]

I look high and low for cash as the kid may have had a bank account or some other insurance death benefit plan if he was working. I may only be a $1,000.00 but if he has a chance of having one I'd look into his benefits at the bank, auto , health, life insurances if he had any.

[WilliamDahl]

I look high and low for cash as the kid may have had a bank account or some other insurance death benefit plan if he was working. I may only be a $1,000.00 but if he has a chance of having one I'd look into his benefits at the bank, auto , health, life insurances if he had any.

I've seen various credit cards and banks that have a free life insurance policy attached to them. They "give" it to you in the hope that you will pay for a larger amount. It's usually around $1K or so.

[B R Shooter]

WilliamDahl has it right. I don't know of anyone in the middle age bracket that has made their own arrangements for their funeral. Most go along thinking they will make 60, 70 or more, so why deal with it now?

Well, $hit happens. Who would ever prepare for a 26 year old? So all I can say is, do your relatives a favor, and get it done on your own.