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KinkBreaker
12-22-2013, 12:50 PM
im getting divorced

i know i havent been part of castboolits very long and i know that ive been away from it for a while, but my life has gone crazy and lots of things are happening to me very quickly these days.
pipehand suggested i let the board know

there are members here that have helped me with my reloading and members here that have given things to me and my son without ever having met us

all i know to say is thank you

gray wolf
12-22-2013, 01:35 PM
Good to hear from you, I also have gotten help from the fine great folks here and I must say at times I just don't no what to say. Everyone always say's ""hey don't worry we are just glad to help "" ""we take care of our own ""
Sometimes that is a hard thing to get my head around, But as I stumble for words that may convey the message a little better or add something to it I find it hard to replace the universal THANK YOU.
Sometimes I wish people could look into my Eyes and see it on my face or the face of my Dear wife.
So just coming on the board and saying what you did will go a long way. I didn't help you but I wish I did.
I hope things settle down for you and your family soon. This world is full of truly good people that have come up against hard times, financial, emotionally , and health wise. Cast bullets is a great forum, and as time goes by folks find out it's far more than just a place to talk about shooting and casting. For some reason unknown to me the universe has allowed us to gather here. We talk bullets here, shooting, ask how to fix things around the house and we Pray here.
Some pray to different Gods, for me I pray to my Lord Jesus Christ, sometimes I get upset going to the our town forum,
It hurts me when I hear about people having a bad time of things, While in my younger day's I could stop a Train and leap tall buildings but I have always been a sensitive kind of guy. I have never changed cept now I walk around the tall buildings and stay off the RR tracks. I am 72 years old and I know that train will hit me some day as it will all of us.
Hey ! I am sorry if this is like a thread Hi-jack, I don't know you but I thought I may know how you feel and wanted to let you know there are folks that care and perhaps when they close there Eye's in thought they have shaken your hand.
Hope your holidays are good ones.

God bless

Sam and family

Wayne Smith
12-22-2013, 01:50 PM
Very sorry to hear this. Divorce is never good. Hard for the children, hard for the parents too, and hard for the grandparents on both sides. LOML and I have been married 38 years now, some hard and some very good. This is common in a good marriage. Forgiveness is the essential part of staying together.

MrWolf
12-22-2013, 02:12 PM
Sorry to hear KinkBreaker. Hopefully things will work out and this will turn out to be one of life's speed bumps. Prayers sent for you and your family.

march41
12-22-2013, 02:42 PM
I second what MrWolf said,Be thankfull for your son,Bob.

EDK
12-22-2013, 06:03 PM
I am getting divorced at age 65...for third time. I had a year with the first (and we have became friends after 35 years of no contact and no chidren,) 18 years with the second, and 17 years with the third. The lawyers have been bleeding us since August 2012...I also retired 1 January 2012. AND the frosting on the cake is that our financial state requires that we share the same house at present. Can you say "hall s**"...you slide past each other and snarl &*^% you under your breath when you pass in the hall.

Do some posts here and vent. Try 12 step groups like CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS or NA or AA if applicable. CELEBRATE RECOVERY is a faith based program for "life's hurts, habits and hang ups" that I highly recommend. Your church is a great asset IF they don't take sides...if they do, find a new one. (I found a second church that I like even more than the first.) My new church is like a family and definitely saved my life and sanity. I have a faith based activity somewhere every evening or day of the week. "Get right with GOD; be a better person; and meet a better class of people than in a saloon."

It ain't the end of the world...just feels like it. You have friends and there are a few more women out there after this mess is over. Take care of the children and be a decent guy to the soon-to-be-ex. BUT don't be a door mat. YOU DEFINITELY NEED YOUR OWN LAWYER or you will get screwed. At 65, anything that happens will have a life long effect on me.

You're on the prayer list.
:redneck::guntootsmiley:

blackthorn
12-22-2013, 06:04 PM
Yes, sometimes divorce is hard to go through. Sometimes however it is the greatest relief imaginable! First marriage lasted 32 years, with very few memorable "good times"! While most of those years passed in what seemed to be "alright" life, after the divorce I soon realized how unhappy we both were. After she left I put a good deal of thought into just what went wrong and what the root causes of the marriage failure were. Several years later I remarried and this time I got the cream of the crop!! We have been together now for almost 22 years and we get along as if we had gotten together yesterday! My advice to anyone who is or has gone through a divorce is to really think about what caused the breakdown and never repeat those mistakes again. Too often people are attracted to the wrong (for them) type of people and they continue to make the same mistake over and over again! To the OP, hang in there, things get better. Good luck.

jmort
12-22-2013, 06:08 PM
Will be praying for you Brother. Faith and time can heal all things. You will make it out of the valley.

DRNurse1
12-22-2013, 06:14 PM
Peace an Grace will get you through this 'speed bump' (I love that picture of these moments in our life that look--to us, right now--like a whole lot more than a speed bump!) and you are in our prayers.

Hamish
12-22-2013, 06:21 PM
GW said it good. Sorry you're all going through it.

sljacob
12-22-2013, 11:25 PM
Sorry to hear of your troubles. been through it twice myself, it isn't easy but you do get through it. Keep

your back strait and your chin up and in time you will laugh and love again.

7br
12-23-2013, 11:50 AM
I was divorced two years ago after being married for 17 years, so I understand your pain. There is life after divorce and you can get through it. Feel free to drop me a pm if you would like to talk. Everyone's experience will be different, but there are some common threads through us all.

jlchucker
12-23-2013, 08:51 PM
Sorry for your troubles. I've never been married, and often wish that some of my close calls in that regard had turned out differently. Then, on reflection, I'm probably lucky they didn't. Still, I can understand a little how you must feel, and wish you the best.

waynem34
12-23-2013, 09:34 PM
single.

oldfart1956
12-23-2013, 10:03 PM
Yes KinkBreaker divorce can be a terrible thing. My marriage (20+ years..2nd.) imploded in 2005...I think. Since then....I've remodeled my home top to bottom (elec. bill dropped from $120mo. to $35 and heating costs dropped 2/3rds.!) I quit drinking (drunk for 38 years...every day) checking acct. went from barely enough to cover weekly expenses to 5 figures, 401 doubled, see the dentist every 6 months now...realized I have teeth, bought my first new car, bought more guns than I care to admit, furnished a nice reloading room, lost 230lbs. (30 of it mine ;)) and turned down enough offers for dates to seriously consider opening up a male escort service. And I'm ugly! Do yourself a favor...don't do the rebound thing. Relax, enjoy life and don't do this again. (my second time...I know stuff.) Audie...the happy single Oldfart..

plmitch
12-24-2013, 03:12 AM
I wish you the best of luck. Maybe a blessing in disguise. I will say that my divorce was the single best investment I ever made, worth every penny spent.

MtGun44
12-24-2013, 04:52 PM
Sorry to hear this. I have had a number of friends go thru this and it is never good,
but if there is any chance of staying civil with the ex for the sake of the children, you
should give it a try. One of the saddest was one where the wife literally went nuts, truly
mentally ill, and spent years telling the kids how horrible the father was and preventing
any contact. 20+ yrs later he has finally reconnected with the daughter, but the son
appears to be a permanent loss. Impossible to control - I sure hope it will be possible
for you to bend things in the direction of staying in your children's lives.

Never heard of a good one, but some have been better than others. Hoping for a "better"
one for you. Wishing you get a good judge.

Bill

w5pv
12-24-2013, 05:33 PM
My ole gal tried to run my sorry butt off but I wouldn't go and we are on the 50 year.This was about 44 years ago.Merry Christmas and God Bless hope things work out for which path you take.

WILCO
12-24-2013, 08:06 PM
Do yourself a favor...don't do the rebound thing. Relax, enjoy life and don't do this again. (my second time...I know stuff.) Audie...the happy single Oldfart..

Sound advice.

Crawdaddy
12-24-2013, 08:41 PM
A lot of us have gone through a divorce. Things probably seem bleak right now, but trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It takes some time but the hurt goes away.

Life will return to normal and happiness will return to your life.

Keep your head up.

1950Hudson
12-24-2013, 09:09 PM
Traveled your road almost exactly a year ago. Twenty-five years and done. The boys are with the ex for Christmas, but they spent all day yesterday with me, starting with two hours at the range. Sending positive thoughts your way that you get past the worst of it with minimal damage, physical, financial and emotional. Have faith, and keep on keepin' on.

cbrick
12-24-2013, 11:30 PM
I just recently got divorced also, that was 1978. It's sure not the worst thing that can happen but perhaps I think like that because it was one of the best things for me. Keep your head up & do what it takes to stay in the kids life, you may be surprised at how quickly things start looking up.

Rick

Ben
12-24-2013, 11:39 PM
I've never been in a storm yet, that was not followed by blue sky.

Ben

MtGun44
12-25-2013, 06:54 PM
Following on Ben's sage comment --

The man that I mentioned with the ex-wife that lost her mind due to some horribly difficult
stress in her life - has found and married a wonderful Christian woman, moved far closer to
Jesus and now has a beautiful new son with the new wife and a very nice new life. He went through
some really difficult trials, but he is now a very happy and blessed man.

So, Ben is correct, as usual.

Bill

WILCO
12-26-2013, 12:45 PM
Following on Ben's sage comment --

The man that I mentioned with the ex-wife that lost her mind due to some horribly difficult
stress in her life - has found and married a wonderful Christian woman, moved far closer to
Jesus and now has a beautiful new son with the new wife and a very nice new life. He went through
some really difficult trials, but he is now a very happy and blessed man.

So, Ben is correct, as usual.

Bill

That's great news Bill. Thanks for sharing.