update on my (BHop) court matters

[bhop]

Ok so i didn't get the money together in time to get my attorney retained for court today. but i did speak with one who will help me out for the amount i have raised. Thanks to Cast Boolits Family!!! unfortunately i will not get to see my beautiful girls before January 8th :'( I will keep this thread updated to let anyone who wants to know informed. I wanted to tell everyone involved Thank You very much from me and my wife! If anyone is ever in the Tulsa/broken arrow area please get in touch with me, i will do whatever i can for my family here at Cast Boolits

[bhop]

Alright finally forward progress. got the lawyer retained today and sat down and spoke with him. i wont be going into details until after we've made our moves. He thinks this will be pretty easy with just the evidence i took in to him today. bad news is that it may take a little longer to see the sweet kiddos but we will be spending a lot more time together soon enough. Again I want to thank everyone who helped me out even if it was just a prayer. I would also ask if you do pray to pray for my wife (not the ex but she needs her own prayers) My Sarah is 18 weeks pregnant and due to all the stress of everything that has lead up to this and then going through this, last thursday her water broke i rushed her to an ER and found out the baby still had a heart beat and was doing ok since she didnt go into labor. They are telling us that it needs to survive for almost 6 more weeks in the womb to have any real chance. she is on bedrest and cannot work (shes a medical assistant) which is really getting to her she isnt the type to just lay around. she is also a type one diabetic so pregnancy isnt the easiest thing on her anyway. Please pray for my Beautiful wife Sarah and our miracle she is nurturing inside too. You guys are the best bunch of people i think i have ever met and if you are ever near me and need anything please dont hessitate one second to ask. i should have some lead ready to sell soon so keep an eye out for it.

Forever Thankful,
The Hopper Family

[472x1B/A]

Our prayers are sent for you and your family.

[Wayne Smith]

Having been in this business (counseling custody issues as a forensic psychologist) for almost 30 years the very best advice I can give you is to remember that you are investing for the next 20+ years, not for this year or the next. Take the long view and the next few months will be easier. You are investing in your grandchildren as much as your children.

[gbrown]

Prayers for you and your family. Hope the rest of the wife's pregnancy goes smooth.

[jmort]

Praying for you Brother and the new one on the way.

[bhop]

Thank you all for the prayers i wish i could say things were getting better with the wife but i cant we are on a pretty even keel at this point. Just happy things aren't getting worse.

[Circuit Rider]

Prayers sent for you, Sarah, and the little one. CR

[ga41]

prayers

[bhop]

THank you all for the prayers ! if anyone purchased anything from me and didnt get it or may have got the wrong package please let me know my mind hasnt really been working to well lately.

[WILCO]

Having been in this business (counseling custody issues as a forensic psychologist) for almost 30 years the very best advice I can give you is to remember that you are investing for the next 20+ years, not for this year or the next. Take the long view and the next few months will be easier. You are investing in your grandchildren as much as your children.

Really great answer. Hang tough Bhop.

[w5pv]

Prayers sent for you and family.

[bhop]

ok guys i have court this morning and will hopefully get to see my kids after today for the first time since before thanksgiving. Also 2-3-14 my wife gave birth to my son Cliff he was 2lbs 4.5 oz and 14" long and 2.5 months premature. her water broke at 4 months and we were told that we had only a 2% chance of having a living baby. he is in the NICU and will be there for a while but he is doing really well. My wife Sarah did really well she went into labor so quickly she didnt get any drugs and did it the old fashioned way. She was released from the hospital yesterday so now we get to make the 27 mile drive back and forth every day to see our little fighter. Ill post another update this afternoon and let you know how court went. Thank you guys again!

Buck (B-Hop) Hopper

[Sweetpea]

Best of luck...

[DRNurse1]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your 'wild bunch', B-Hopper.

[osteodoc08]

Having to deal with family issues myself, my heart goes out to you and your family. I pray, for my kids, that their long term damage is minimized and the same with yours.

[contender1]

As I type this, (after 9 am,) most courts are just starting. Good luck there today.
And, my prayers for little Cliff. May he be the fighter his Dad is.
I was born premature. While not as early as Cliff, miracles do happen. I was 4 lbs, 3 oz's myself. I grew into a very healthy old grouch! :D

[DLCTEX]

Prayers sent for you and family. We had premie twins in 1968 and they made it through being 3 lbs. and 3-2oz back then without all the wonderful equipment and knowledge they have today. Our God is still in the miracle business.

[ACrowe25]

Good luck brother.

[rockrat]

Good luck on the court proceedings.

I was such a small preemie, that my grandad said you could put a coffee cup over my head. Supposedly 2mo. early, and this was back in the early 1950's. Grew up to be 6'4" and built like a linebacker at one time.

[elkhuntfever]

ok guys i have court this morning and will hopefully get to see my kids after today for the first time since before thanksgiving. Also 2-3-14 my wife gave birth to my son Cliff he was 2lbs 4.5 oz and 14" long and 2.5 months premature. her water broke at 4 months and we were told that we had only a 2% chance of having a living baby. he is in the NICU and will be there for a while but he is doing really well. My wife Sarah did really well she went into labor so quickly she didnt get any drugs and did it the old fashioned way. She was released from the hospital yesterday so now we get to make the 27 mile drive back and forth every day to see our little fighter. Ill post another update this afternoon and let you know how court went. Thank you guys again!

Buck (B-Hop) Hopper

I am a grandparent to twins born premature. Just over 2 pounds each. Next month they will be 11 years old. Such a miracle to see them at birth with fingers the thickness of 8 penny nails. My wedding ring would fit over their fist and slice all the way to their shoulder.
Riley Childrens hospital in Indianapolis is #1 in our books.

[Harter66]

I hope court went well for you today. I went through it sort of to gain custody of my granddaughters from both the state and their mother.
I'm glad to hear the Ms. is doing well. My oldest boy was 7weeks early at 4-12 we were told over and over he would be slow and stunted , in the 6th grade he figured out he was smarter than most of his teachers and got bored w/messing w/them in the 8th. As for stunted ....... thank God he didn't grow up,his jr yr he was just 6ft and 155,at 27 he,s 6'1'' and 180.

Prayers up for Cliffs lungs and speedy release.

[searcher4851]

Congratulations to you and your lady. Prayers said for all of you.

[Bad Water Bill]

Not to play can you top this because records were not kept at that time.

When one of my aunts was born (at home in 1907) she was so small that the Dr padded her with cotton and placed her in a cigar box.

The next mourning the Dr put a drop of wiskey on his finger and touched her lips. Yes her first action in her life was to lick her lips.

Aunt Connie lived a normal life and had 4 healthy children.

100 years later your little one should have a great future ahead of him considering he AND his parents are real fighters.

Congratulations on the birth of the baby.

[w5pv]

prayers sent

[bhop]

court started at 9am we were the second hearing, unfortuneatly the first hearing the kid wanted to represent himselfa and lets just say it was like watching a train wreck in super slow motion judge finally stopped him and made her ruling at 3:40 he lost. We are up there less than 5 mins and the ruling was quick and decisive in my favor. Bad news is since we were there all day i got charged for a whole day by my attorney. So going to stop by and check on Cliff then go get my beautiful girls! next step is to modify custody so i get them full time  god is great

Buck (B-Hop) Hopper

[jmort]

Praise God, Thank God, in Jesus' Mighty Name

[Sweetpea]

Glad to hear it.

Paying the attorney the extra is a small price to pay, IMHO...

[searcher4851]

Glad to hear things went your way. Enjoy your family.

[bhop]

Glad to hear it.

Paying the attorney the extra is a small price to pay, IMHO...
i agree he was unavailable for business because of me so i will pay him, what made me upset was the judge allowed her courtroom to be turned into a law class/side show basically for the guy before me. honestly 85% of what he said was irrelevant to his case and was objected too. i think he should have hired a lawyer if he was going to be fighting for a protective order as hard as he was. it got so ridiculous that 2 of his witness' were told by the judge that if they spoke another word they would be held in contempt and he himself was also warned that he would be held in contempt if he couldn't behave in a manner expected in court. his hearing should have only lasted about 30-45 mins with all the pertinent information heard. sad part about it is that was only one of 4 hearings he was going to represent himself in that day.

[7br]

his hearing should have only lasted about 30-45 mins with all the pertinent information heard. sad part about it is that was only one of 4 hearings he was going to represent himself in that day.
Did you catch his name? I figure if he is going to represent himself in court, he may be in the market for my home vasectomy kit.

[bhop]

Ok update as of 2-24: since the last time i posted a lot has happened. Cliff was doing great as of 2-21 1300 hrs i had started my new job at U.S. Shooting Academy the day before and his mom went back to work the day before i started. well around 1400 i get a call from her saying something is wrong with our little guy and she would let me know more the second she found out but i shouldn't leave work yet, 1430 she calls back to say he has an infection in his intestines and the doc says its serious but was going to do another x-ray and if it was what he was thinking that they would immediately transfer him to the hospital 1 mile down the road b/c they have a neonatal surgeon and it would be possible that he would have to have surgery and was again told not to leave work. 1600 she calls and says that its pretty serious and they were going to transfer him, i had already informed my superiors about the situation so i walked back through the pro shop with my jacket on waved to the boss and out i went. i get to the original hospital and go in fairly upset at this point to find my wife in shambles and my mom very upset but holding it together. ambulance comes and takes him. we make the mile trek down the street and up to their NICU which was "CLOSED" but was let right in (which was never allowed at the first one) which concerned me. Cliff has NEC which is very bad. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CDoQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpreemies.about.com%2Fod%2Fpreemie healthproblems%2Ff%2Fnec.htm&ei=uxILU4_BBc-GyQGdpIHoCg&usg=AFQjCNGQwXAyxh_A_V7XK-D-bb7896e2Ig&sig2=CStzKCWjAL7uyo5tRdVwBw&bvm=bv.61725948,d.aWc <~~~for more info on NEC. Doc tells us this is extremely serious and he needed to check cliff in and as soon as the surgeon got there and looked at him he would come talk to us. that he was on his was the moment he found out we were coming. he arrives quickly and tells us it is extensive and if he did nothing it would be fatal but he thought that if he were to cut open the belly and pull the intestines out that the rest of his organs would have room to function and it would give him a better chance to beat the infection of the intestines which caused all the swelling. they would be left out in a bag and wrapped up. after surgery he seemed a little more hopeful (still wouldn't even say that he thought survival would happen) that some of the int. were pink which means they could heal. cliff did better than they thought all night but when they checked this morning the doc came and told us his intestines had died and this was his final day, that we needed to get everyone together in a hurry. asked if we wanted to leave machines hooked up and not hold him or unhook all but heart monitor and iv and get to hold our son for his remaining time. he warned after the ventilator was removed instant passing was very probable but one of us may get to hold him before that happened. my wife said i could hold him because she already had but i hadn't. once the tubes were out i got to hold him as did my wife, mom, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, me again, wife again, me again, and finally my wife again. he held on for a hour and a half more. My son Cliff is the strongest person ive ever met followed by my g-pa whom we named him after. This was the hardest thing I've ever been through. we are making arrangements with the funeral home tomorrow Floral Haven Funeral home in broken arrow, OK has a policy that if your child is under 1 yoa they cover almost all costs to bury them and they have whats called the field of angels that is nothing but young children. we will only have to come up with money to pay for using the chapel and family building and the marker for Cliff which is a blessing and i'm hoping the income tax return will be here soon enough to cover it. Please keep my wife Sarah Hopper in your prayers she isn't handling this well at all which i understand but i'm concerned for her health being that stressed for so long.

Thank you for caring,
Buck (B-Hop) Hopper

sorry to make it so long

[MrWolf]

I am so sorry - words just aren't enough. Your family is in our prayers.

[southpaw]

This is the saddest news that I have heard in a long time. If you need anything, we are here. No parent should ever have to go through this.

Jerry Jr.

[gon2shoot]

Sorry isn't nearly a strong enough word. Prayers for your family.

[bhop]

Thank you Mr wolf

Jerry i wouldn't have wished this on osama bin laden himself. this is the worst pain in the world.

for those of you not from the Tulsa area Floral Haven is an amazing place not just because of the looks. they do things like this and also they have whats called avenue of the flags on memorial weekend. that started with one old widow who asked if they would fly her husbands casket flag over the memorial weekend which they did then they found all the veterans who are buried their and got a replacement casket flag for them and their is a pole with their name on it and the JROTC come out on friday to raise the flags of those with no family there to do it (most of them) and Monday the Boy Scouts of America come lower them. it is a spectacular sight especially once it sinks in that each one represents a man or woman who put their life on the line for you and me. they have a reenactment of the changing of the guards all weekend and a replica of the tomb of the unknown soldier. the guards are actually just cadet from the civil air patrol i think, so its pretty close to the real thing but the acoustics aren't anywhere near what they are in Arlington. I had lowered the flags for close to a decade without miss as a scout even being asked to help with the giant garrison they have. After my grandpa passed I have never missed being there to put it up or bring it down ever, first years 1 or 2 cousins would come but its just been me for a while which i don't mind. the pictures cannot even begin to describe what its like to look in every direction and see flag after flag til u cant see any farther. i know in 2012 there was well over 3,000 flags some are the actual casket flags not replicas and each one has a brass tag that has the name b date and d date of the veteran attached when they put it up the tag gets hung on the pole 976459764697647

[white eagle]

I am so sorry to hear the terrible news
prayers from my family to yours
god bless

[338RemUltraMag]

I......... Damn......... English does not have words to describe what I want to say, please know that my heart is heavy for your family.

If you need to vent or talk let me know...

[Beau Cassidy]

I am so sorry to hear that. Such a tragic loss for everyone involved.

[bhop]

as long as i stay busy i will be ok. my wife is who im worried about. but at the right im going ill finish this pid controller today and i will have to figure out another project, wow just now realized how much work ive accomplished in less than 24 hrs. i thought i had projects to last a week or two lined up but was just looking around and they are all done :(

[Bored1]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers are with you and your family.

[jcwit]

My prayers go with you and your's, so sorry.

[MT Gianni]

Prayers for your family are sent. I wish you peace at the time of this tragic loss.

[osteodoc08]

I really dont know what to say other than I'm sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family during this trying time.

[blackthorn]

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

[rockrat]

Heavy heart here as I read about your son. Prayers up for you and your wife, that the Good Lord will ease your suffering. No parent should go thru what you are going thru.

[aspangler]

62 years old and I am still bawling my eyes out for you. Special prayers are going up for you and your family. May the God of all creation bless you and your family. Bro. Albert

[woody1]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't possibly know how you feel but praying you'll get thru it. Regards, Woody

[jmort]

Praying for you Brother and your wife. Nothing works here other than Faith and time.

[obssd1958]

More tears and prayers from our house to yours.
Remember, you and your wife don't have to carry this burden alone. Our Lord and Savior, is there for you. Let Him help you.

[tomme boy]

I don't have any kids, I just don't know what to say but I'm sorry for your loss. My words just can't say it the way it should be said.

[Sweetpea]

I have no words, so I've sent prayers instead.

[xs11jack]

Prayer here too.
Ole Jack

[smokeywolf]

Have 4 children and spent many hours/days in NICU.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

smokeywolf

[Del-Ray]

Every parents nightmare. Like others before I can't think of the proper words to express my feelings of shock and loss. And it's not even my child.

I can only hope that you, and especially your wife feel comforted knowing that in the short time you had your child he touched so many people. Even those of us that never got to see him.

[Echo]

No parent should have to bury their child. It's not right, but it happens. My oldest son passed away March 6, 2010. He was 51 years old. My wife passed away Sept 1, 2010. we were married 55 years. My daughter passed away June 10, 2012. I'm left with 1 son and 3 grand-daughters. Fecal matter happens. But life goes on.
Your life (And Sarah's, too) has been dealt a blow, but you have to look to the future, one day at a time. Don't dwell on the present **** in your life - you are alive, and so is Sarah, and you can, and will, make it. Accentuate the Positive, as Johnny Mercer said.
And you are the only other person from BA I know, aside from Kristin Chenowith.

[OeldeWolf]

Every time I read of something like this, I tear up. And with all the people in the chapel, too. I have offered up a prayer for all.

I hope you find things to keep busy, and that your wife does also. Dealt a time or three with depression, and activity has always been one of the best therapies. Also, look into local support groups. You are not alone in this. The members of the forum are here, and there will likely be other parents in your area, as well.

[searcher4851]

My prayers are with you and Sarah. Having lost an infant son myself, I know there are no "right words", but knowing that there are others that share your pain is in some small way helpful. I know you feel the need to take care of Sarah, but you need to take care of yourself as well.

[missionary5155]

May God fill that void with His Peace and Comfort.
As David King of Israel said at the death of his 7 day old son, " I will see him again." Shortly after Solomon, the next king of Israel was born.
Mike in Peru

[bhop]

Echo- i went to school with kristin.

Mike in peru- that verse was quoted today during his service.

Everyone- thank you from me and sarah. Also if you would like you can sign the virtual guestbook @ http://www.floralhaven.com/m/obituaries/Cliff-Hopper/Memories im not sure how much longer it will be up but we appreciate all the comments and we read every one.

[Artful]

Prayers from my family to yours - words fail me - My God keep you.

[MaryB]

Prayers for you and your wife/family. Stay busy is all you can do.

[Circuit Rider]

Your beautiful son is in perfect health and in the arms of the Lord. Didn't know this 72 yo man could shed tears this way. You,Sarah and your family are in our prayers. James

[nekshot]

bhop, I know what you are going thru as I also had to make the decision to unhook my first son from life support. Our prayers are with your family and thank God healing does come in time!

[300savage]

i am at a total loss of words.
i checked in for an update of your success and i find this tragic news.
i pray that God supports you in this time.
and i do believe that He is also grieving along with all of us.
your son is safe in his arms and you shall see him again .

i am so sorry, i hurt for you and your family.

[bhop]

thank you all for your support though this hard time

[DCP]

In this sad world of ours.
Sorrow comes to all.
It comes with bitterest agony.
Perfect relief is not possible.
Except with time.
You can not now realize that you will ever feel better.
Is not this so?
And yet it is a mistake.
You are sure to be happy again.
To know this, which is certainly true.
Will make you some less miserable now.
I have had experience enough to know what I say.


Abraham Lincoln

[DLCTEX]

I had lost track of this thread until now. Tears are flowing for your loss sharing the pain I had on losing one of our twins at six months of age to SIDS. That was 1967 and the loss is fresh today. God bless you and your family and give you continued success in uniting with you daughters.

[bhop]

UPDATE: well everyone first off i have to say neither of us were ever perfect in our relationship but we got through everything and love each other very much. about a week after we buried Cliff, Sarah told me that she couldnt deal with the mistakes id made in the past. (totally lying to herself if you ask me because she had already forgiven me and we had been happy until Cliff's passing) That was the reason she gave me for moving out and telling me she wants a divorce. she has since also told me that its hard for her to look at me because she sees Cliff. This destroyed me, I love my wife more than anything in the world sans my kids. i still hadnt dealt with losing my son and find myself trying to deal with losing my son and wife all at once. when my girls arent home this house gets sooooooooooo lonely. I didnt sleep or really eat anything for about 2 weeks. im eating a little better now but sleep still eludes me except when im driving home from work. it scares the **** out of me. ive had to find another place to live because being here without sarah and Cliff is too much to deal with. sorry if i am a downer just thought i should share seeing as you guys truly cared before.

Broken, Beaten, Bruised and Scarred
Buck B-Hop Hopper

[DCP]

So just how long will you just stay in that gutter.

For me it was three months.

Then one day I said to myself.
It was time to pick myself up and move on. You will get over a woman. Never the child. But you will be a better and stronger man,when you do.

I hope this helps. I know what I say is true as I walked the walk.

Trust in the LORD

Vaya con Dios

DCP

[ga41]

You are a child of the living God, your inheritance is secure. Prayers
Jer 29:11

[jmort]

Only cure is Faith and time. Will pray for you.

[Artful]

Well that's a kick in the stomach

- you need to go to plan B

- throw yourself into helping others who are even worse off than you, so you know how well you still have it.

[Wayne Smith]

Unfortunately with the death of a child over half of marriages do not survive. You have a clear measure of how immature and selfish she is, don't compete with her for that title! Learn how to take care of yourself all over again, re-establish basic disciplines in your life starting with a regular schedule if you don't have that. A regular schedule includes time to eat, a bedtime and a time to wake up. Start investing time back into your hobbies, re-awaken your old interests even if they do not, at the moment, seem exciting. Give yourself a year before you even look at another woman! If possible make no major changes in the next year. You will change. It is one thing to look at a car a year later and ask "Why did I buy that one??" You don't want to do that with a woman!

[OeldeWolf]

Having been through not quite the same thing, but similar, I offer you my prayers and sympathy. And a few words that hopefully will help.

The advice to work, and put some effort into helping others is good. But with the sleep problem, you will find it almost impossible to climb all the way out of this by yourself. Remember, you are fighting depression here, Not just all the other stuff. And it is hard to beat/deal with. There are herbs that can help, there are meds. With the current political situation, I would advise placing your firearms with a relative before asking a doctor for help. But you should consider it.

I have been there, depression is hard to deal with, especially if you do not realize that is a part of the problem.

Life has hit you hard. Nothing you can do to change that. You can not change the choices other people make. All you can do is your best to deal with how you deal with it.

PM me if you want to talk. I will try and check my messages more frequently. Recovering is not easy, but it is possible. I will bear witness to that.