To all of the Dads, Daddies, Fathers, and Papas.

[labdwakin]

First of all, your sons love you, no matter how they act or how ignorant they act like they think you are.

As sons, we feel obligated to try not to make the mistakes that our fathers did. We always think that we can do it better somehow. As time goes by though, we learn that life has it's little ways of interfering in our best plans. So, I want all of you with sons to know, we love our fathers more than we will probably ever express and most of us will end up wishing we had said more. We try to be the man we saw when we were young, we don't express how much we care because that wouldn't be "tough". It takes some of us a LONG time to realize that the really hard thing is to open up enough to say the things that mean so much. So, to all of you Dads, Daddies, Fathers, and Papas: We love you and want you around more than you will EVER know.

To the sons...

MAKE the time for your dad, he'll be gone before you know it and the hole he leaves in your life will be huge beyond your ability to understand until it happens.

[unclogum bill]

My father was distant and would have been best if he never had kids. Mom said the war messed with him, that didn't help me. Was someone else took me to my first movie, To the circus , gave me my baseball glove. He never , never, said he loved me or called me son. One day he caught me messing up and said "thought you knew better" I replied "who would I have learned it from?. On his death bed I tried, really really tried to tell him I loved him . I could not get the words out. I think about that often.
On the positive side I was blessed with two children. I attended every ball game, play, they were in. Tutored them if grades were not going well. I tell them I love them with every phone call . If I was going somewhere I always asked who wants to come, we talked about life and it worked well. Ones a Social worker at a VA hospital and One teaches school.
I do thank my dad now and then, he's the one who showed me the importance of it all. Make time for your children, teach them .

[Alstep]

As a son, then growing up to be a father, and now a grandfather, I can really appreciate what you said. You sure put it all together, well done! I'd gave anything to have my father back and tell him that. I hope he's watching over me.

[w5pv]

My dad has been gone for 28 years and I still miss him.He was hard in many ways. I look back and see what he was doing making us live by the standards and goals that good citizens live by.

[contender1]

My dad passed in 1994. I still share words of wisdom I learned from him. While he wasn't "close" to us kids,, as he worked a lot & was mostly business,,, I did see he loved us, and wanted us to succeed. I can't recall him ever saying "I love you son" much,,, but I knew he meant it by how he raised us.
So, I strive to share his wisdom with my son, and add to it by being closer to him, and telling him I love him more often.
Serious emotions can be hard for some men to share,,, but if you look you will see it in the strongest "man's man."

[Hardcast416taylor]

I am a Father and was a son to my Father. I lost my Father when I was only 13. Being farmers I didn`t have time to goof around and get in trouble like other kids. I married a sweet little gal and we brought 4 kids into the world, 2 boys and 2 girls. The wife and I did the best we could to give them values and teach them to think before doing something rash. I lost my youngest son 2 1/2 years back. I had seen him several days before he passed, as always the case he gave us both a hug and saying he loved us before he left for his home that night. We now have only 3 kids left, we tell them as much as before that we love them all alike with no preferences.Robert

[RED333]

I get a few jabs and a laugh bout time they hear me say "Love Ya"
to my family on the phone. I just look at them and say
"Tell the ones you care about you love them for you might not get another chance".

[DeanWinchester]

MAKE the time for your dad, he'll be gone before you know it and the hole he leaves in your life will be huge beyond your ability to understand until it happens.

Not everyone would agree with that. Sad but true.

[1Shirt]

Well stated! Still miss my dad! He only had an 8th grade education, but had a lot of common sense.
1Shirt!

[DCM]

It took me a long time(OK way too long) to figure out why my dad was "so hard" on me, it took becoming a parent for me to really see it.
Many years later I understand most of it I hope and miss him dearly.

[DoubleAdobe]

It took me a long time(OK way too long) to figure out why my dad was "so hard" on me, it took becoming a parent for me to really see it.
Many years later I understand most of it I hope and miss him dearly.
Yes, and this I think is the lesson. A long, sometimes painful process to get to this point.
My theory is these guys were raised in harder less forgiving times and it is not easy for them to express emotions. I can count on one hand the guys my Dad's age that were comfortable hugging and kissing and telling their kids things we now think of as positive. All I know to do is do better, although I have a much easier time being open with my daughters. With my son for some reason, it is much harder. And now that my son is a father I see it continuing to a certain extent. Whatever it is is powerful.

[JeffinNZ]

My late father was a product of the 'Great Depression' and an alcoholic father. Dad never drank as a result and always provided for us but he made mistakes as we all do. I firmly believe he was boardline agoraphobic also as he did not do well at gatherings etc. Given this it was astounding he went out to work every day. Never spent a cent on himself and his pay packet came home every week with the staple still in the little brown envelope. I made my peace with him before he died.

The most important thing for me was to get and understanding for why he was who he was.

[unclogum bill]

In following this thread, I wonder what our children will say of us. I do fear the we became our parents thing and take steps to prevent it. This spring my little girl married. My part was to give her away and share a dance. Wont lie "I can't dance" Found this old German woman who beat me with a stick in her studio teaching me to fox trot "arms back, feet forward, wack, wack, shoulders up, smaller steps, wack , wack. I would break out in a sweat walking in , I'm pretty sure she got in extra wacks for the heck of it. I paid her to beat me with a stick and got through it. My kid don't know, never will, But a father will do what he can for his.

[blackthorn]

My Dad was a farmer. My Dad was a Gentleman. My Dad was a “golden ruler” and a better Christian than most of those who shout out how good a Christian they are! My Dad never took a dollar that was not his, nor did he lie cheat or steal! He worked hard every day to put food and such together for Mother and I. When he died there was not enough room in the church to hold all the people who came to pay their respects!

My Mother was a farmer’s wife. My Mother was a seamstress by trade (before she came to Canada from England. My Mother was a practicing Christian and went to church as many Sundays as she could. About three or four times a year she even got Dad to go. She made sure to take me (at least until I got into my teen years). My Mother NEVER turned away a hungry person from our door. My Mother commanded the same respect within the community as my Dad.

I am adopted (at 8 months) and the folks above gave me love, guidance and a respect for others (until they prove unworthy) no matter what sex, religion, occupation etc. They taught me that NO ONE is better (or worse) than another unless they choose to be. They taught me to walk on the roadside of the street when with a lady, to hold the door for the next person, to try to assist those who need assistance and to “generally” be a man. There is so much more I could say about my folks but I think you all probably get the idea. I am 74 years old and I still tear up when I think about them!

I try to judge people by their actions as individuals, and not by their sex or life choice. I have known Bosses (both male and female) that were great people and some that were----not so much! I believe in all people being equal BUT I do not believe there are any (group or individual) is, or should be, more equal than any other.

[ErikO]

I was blessed with a patient, caring man as both a dad and a father. I try to be at least half the man he is and my son acknowledges that I do try. I owe my dad a couple phone calls, first one right after work today. :)

[Kull]

To the sons...

MAKE the time for your dad, he'll be gone before you know it and the hole he leaves in your life will be huge beyond your ability to understand until it happens.

True. I lost my father before I turned 21, and he was only 42. Make the most of the time you have before it's gone.