I could use some shoring up.

[mroliver77]

I am not good at asking for help. I have always been the one to show up and help others.

I have been struggling with the brave new world we live in. Being disabled has hurt my pride a lot! Living on disability is not easy. A divorce 8 years ago bankrupted me. I lost my older of two daughters(car wreck) during this. It has not been easy trying to build a new life!

I have lived trying to be a good Christian and found a good church. I pray and read my bible, go to Sunday school and have been helping teach and lot's of things. I could feel Jesus living in me. Where I used to hate and lash out I found love in my heart.

I though I had a church family and was part of something. That feeling is gone! I don't feel a part of this church anymore. I was sick most of the summer and one person sent a card. I am used to being a loner. This is different.

Yesterday I got a letter and book from my insurance. I have an "medicare advantage" plan. It was $100. a month when I signed. Last year it went to $130. with deductibles and higher copays. Now it is $170! with $1000 deductable and higher yet copays and they don't cover most of my meds until I pay out $6800! The price of EVERYTHING has raised dramatically in the last few years!

Enough whining. My point is that I freaked out! I was a mean SOB all day and screamed at my sister for voting for 0. I cannot begin to pay this. I was scared about how I will make it for the first time in my life! I forgot Gods promise! Funny how at church last night they talked about what I needed to hear. ;)
I am still shook up! I sucked up my pride and made an appointment with the (OMG) welfare people. I am sickened!

I am bothered that when I hit a bump in the road I forgot about God and wanted to take the reins. I ask you all to pray for my faith and everything.
Thanks ,
Jay

[missionary5155]

Greetings in our Lord Jesus.
I will pray for you Brother. I know all things work for good in Christ. Whether it is our personal good and or will be for the overall good of God's family. But in the midst of the hurricanes of life it sure is tough to see any bright moments.
Do remember Peter threw a fit also.. and our Lord told the diciples after thr Resurection to remember to tell Peter also. I am in no ways perfect.. But I sure do know Who is and He promised to never cast us aside.
You are not alone. Mike in Peru

[jmort]

We live in a fallen world and it is a tough place, but for those of us in the Body of Christ, we can place our trust in God our Father, His Son, Our Savior, and the Holy Spirit. Will pray for you, for strength and faith to get through this valley. You will make it. Love to you Brother.

[Char-Gar]

We hit these bump and ruts in life, but God will show you the way through it. I will be praying for you.

Charles

[buckwheatpaul]

Jay, The devil is always trying to tempt you by sending you the trials and tribulations....The good that was done during Gray Wolf's wife's sickness shows how great he is .... he moved you and your Boolits family to help.....and we will minister and pray for anyone that needs the help.....you sir have my prayers ..... Paul

[Lead Fred]

There is a temporal tug of war going on.
Be assured that even tho satan is tugging you towards the dark side

Jesus has your back.

Its your faith that keeps the line taught.

God knows his children will be put at odds from time to time.

You know in your heart what side your on, so laugh at satan, he really hate that

[blademasterii]

Get everything you can from the government, disability, ss, every advantage you can glean from them. I will sleep better knowing that at least some of my tax money is going to support someone who truly needs and deserves it. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it and have no other options. I have recently gone through some things I would wish on no man, but it seems there is a reason for everything. What was once average or below is now better than I could have hoped for. Have faith that nothing is done without a plan. Either for you or for someone else with your help. Ask not for deliverance from your trials and tribulations, but for guidance to complete the plan He has in mind.

[pmer]

I'm with bladmasterii on this. Go in there sign up so are part of the safety can catch you.

I have been keeping the dust off my bible and my church has a Sunday school for me too. Kids love AWANA, Old Testament bible study on Monday. Last Monday I learned of Asaph's stumble and return to Christ. Sometimes misery loves company hehe.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2073&version=NKJV

Thanks, mroliver77, for sharing these thoughts. I pray for you and for your late sister and hope for good terms with your other sister.

[wv109323]

Everyone hits bumps in the road. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. The promise we have is that God will never leave us or forsake us. He will always take us back in no matter how bad we mess up. The Bible is full of examples of men that messed up and got back into God's grace.
Everyone one gets discouraged. It is the devil's way to get our focus off God. When discouraged we usually do not worship, read our Bibles or pray as we should. Just remember that we are already victorious, heirs and joint heirs with Jesus. Go to church when you don't feel like it.
The world's problems are just beginning. It is going to get worse. No man will have a valid solution to what is about to happen thou many will follow some one or something. Make things right with your sister.
God Bless.

[DLCTEX]

I agree with get all you can from the government. Better it go to you than some lazy jerk who just won't work or stays stoned to the point they can't keep a job. I have no problem helping those who can't do for themselves.

[Wayne Smith]

It is the trials and temptations that strengthen faith. Everyone is given a measure of faith and how I respond when things do not go the way I want is when I either grow my faith or give up on it. Personally I have found it much harder to wait on God when a loved one is involved than when I am involved. We are still waiting on a job for our son the aerospace engineer (see earlier post). There are times when I want to rail and scream at God but then I calm myself down. Seems like they are taking it better than we are!

[mroliver77]

I went and applied for aid today. I feel dirty! I have paid in most of my life but it still stinks! If our country was not going to the dogs I could manage on my own.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. It really does help!

I have been through so much in the last few years and it has made me stronger! Where I am at now is comparatively small problems but it is tearing me up! Watching our country go down like it is on top of my struggles has just upset me severely.

I am going to try out a different church (but not dump mine) and see if mebbe that will help me find the zest that has gone missing in my Walk. I got a bible program for the puter and mebbe that will help me stay on track with my reading.
Thanks again all.
J

[Gibbs44]

No shame in using the programs invented for the reason they were intended.

As far as your Walk, you've not given up that's a start. Just keep reading, loving the Lord and others. It's not always easy as you well know especially when things aren't going right.

Prayers sent.

[North_of_60]

Don't let the devil get you down. Like others here have said, take every ounce of help you can get. You and all of us have had this money confiscated from us for years and every day we watch it being thrown away on programs that we don't agree with. I am delighted that a small portion of it can go to helping out a brother in need. You don't need to feel dirty about it. That is just satan's attempt to hurt you even more.

God bless you and keep you brother. You are in my prayers.

Al W

[Ajax]

Jay, you are in my prayers brother and i know god will see you thru it.

Andy

[kbstenberg]

You may temporarily misplace God in a fit of despair. But he is always there.
Even though you walk through the valley of death. You shall fear no evil. For God is with you!

[w5pv]

Prayers for you my friend