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View Full Version : Another thing my mother taught me.



blackthorn
09-03-2013, 08:36 PM
Jim’s recent thread on heirs started me thinking not just about the future, but also about the past. Many years ago my folks passed away. My Dad passed first and then several years later my Mother followed. I lived in BC and my mother lived in Manitoba (over 1500 miles away). Mother passed away on a Wednesday just a few days before Christmas and I caught a “red eye” flight into Winnipeg and then a two hour bus ride to my old home town. I arrived there just after daylight and walked the few blocks to my Mother’s suite in the retirement home. As soon as possible I contacted the funeral home to begin the process of taking care of those things we need to do on the death of a loved one. To my surprise I was informed that Mother had set everything up and paid for it in advance. She had written her obituary and everything. All that was left for me to do was to choose the time and date for the service and internment. I found a letter (written long before) instructing me as to where everything was in terms of documents, will, bank book etc. I dealt with the disbursement of some special bequests and made arrangements for shipping some stuff to BC, sold what was left and realized it was now Friday afternoon and I had not yet found the key to her safety deposit box. I phoned the bank and asked what time they closed, explaining who I was and that I needed to get the will etc from the box if at all possible. In typical small town sprite the bank manager said he would be working in the bank till six that evening and if I could find the key to knock on the door and he would help me out (I got there at five thirty). To sum up, I was able to get things taken care of, bury Mother and get home for Christmas with my family on the following Monday. My Mother’s foresight made a very stressful time much easier for me to get through and I cannot say how much I appreciated her thoughtfulness.

When we retired in 2004 and moved from the greater Vancouver area to Kamloops we discussed the inevitable time when one or both of us will pass away. We have a blended family and we both had assets coming into our marriage that are separate and apart from “our” stuff. We sat down and made out a will. We joined a memorial society (cost us $5 each) that ensures we will get the mortal remains cremated (at a reasonable cost). We prepaid the funeral home to take care of things (in consultation with our families). We both signed organ donor cards. We are now in the process of restructuring our wills and that should be done before Christmas. When we pass, all that will need to be done is for someone to call the funeral home! The “stuff” (hers and mine) will be allotted to the kid(s) we want to have “it” and anything left will be sold and the money split according to the terms of the will.

The purpose of this post is to stress how important I believe it to be that everyone makes a will and everything possible is done to ensure our passing is eased for our loved ones. That said, I have decided I aint gonna go so all that stuff was a waste of time----but if I’m wrong, well----

TCLouis
09-04-2013, 12:05 AM
No better time to do it than when it is not an upcoming event.

I keep saying, " I need to sit down with the wife and do that."

She is less than enthusiastic about the concept.

Bob in Revelstoke
09-04-2013, 12:11 AM
That is very good advice to all of us. And remember, where there is a will, there's a lawyer.

I've decided I'm not going either, but just in case I have an asbestos money belt and holster.

blackthorn
09-04-2013, 11:40 AM
Quote "I've decided I'm not going either, but just in case I have an asbestos money belt and holster."

Don't forget to take a really "cool" gun!!!