Adoption in the U.S.

[phonejack]

The daughter and son in law of a friend of mine are trying to "adopt". Here is their FB post of what they have to provide the adoption agency in addition to filling out a 160 page document. God bless those who are wiling to persevere .
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[shaune509]

Most are not of any relavance to the adoption, ie living will. Or could change for better or worse within days, ie health or finances. Other than adoption preferance if any, maybe a few referances and a short copy of last years tax form and the agency can run the limited back ground check along with maybe the intrusive home check that is all I would give them. If they want people to adopt they need to back off on this need to know all.
shaune509

[500MAG]

My wife and I are working on adopting 2 boys we have fostered for the past 2 years. It is a long hard process.

[legend 550]

When we adopted our daughter 23 years ago we consulted an agency to handle the adoption. We were told it was a long and costly affair, cost would be in the area of $10,000. A local lawyer told us otherwise, for a fee of $200 he assisted us with filing the proper paperwork with the probate court to do a private adoption. One home inspection and an appearance before the probate judge it was a done deal. Total cost $530.00. These adoption agencies are a money making racket and most of the stuff on that list isn't needed by the court. The agencies just are trying to make it seem difficult to justify their price.

[Bad Water Bill]

Now we see why some folks chose to adopt young ones from China,Russia etc and bring to America.

The youngsters have to endure a 5-10 hour flight,not understanding a single word they hear,eat foods they have never seen or tasted before etc and finally arrive at a house full of folks that do not resemble anyone they have ever seen in their short lives.

Talk about a culture shock. Yet miraculously they adjust and survive.

In the mean time we have orphanages full of children spending the first 18 years of their lives wishing there was someone in America that cared enough to take in one of OUR OWN.

Years ago a family had more mouths than they could feed. As they traveled thru a town they stopped at a small church and left a boy behind. Well the pastor found a family that could squeeze one more child at the table.

No paperwork was done no abandonment charges were filed but my "cousin" entered the family and spent the next 80 years with his new family.

[fatelk]

We have friends that are adopting, and they've told us stories of other stuff they have to put up with, in regards to institutional bias. They were required to take a class a couple of nights per week for several weeks, as I recall. The class instructor, a state employee, displayed open political and religious bias, bragging how "right-wingers" and overly religious people didn't have much chance to make it through the process as long as she had anything to do with it. They just bit their tongues and went through it.

At one point the state worker made a nasty, disparaging comment about Baptist pastors, not knowing there was one in the class!

[dilly]

My step sister and her husband have adopted 2 children and are in the process of the third. For this third child, they have spent many thousands of dollars on mothers who changed their mind or were just using them to pay bills. I know what I said is confusing but this child is the third child that was a candidate to be their third adoption.

The government makes it very hard to do a very good thing with adoption.

[blackthorn]

God bless those who adopt! I was adopted in 1939 at the age of 8 months! Best deal EVER!

[frkelly74]

We went to China three times and The first one was the most stressful adoption. Also it was the quickest , we didn't know any better. I have a case in point about the comment pertaining to documenting every little aspect of your life and the fact that any particular item in the list is subject to change. On our third trip to get Noah from China we submitted everything and some things twice as they expired from taking so long. Fingerprints are only good for 18 months or so and the report from the background check , we almost had to get new physicals, But any way talking about change occurring, When we got back there was a message on our phone announcing that the company I worked for was closing down permanently, please turn in your van, keys, company tools, and credit card after you finish your current assignment. Boom everything changes!!

[500MAG]

We got into fostering 4 years ago just so we would have an opportunity to adopt. My wife wanted more children but her pregnancies with our two daughters almost killed her. The system has basically used our home as a dumping ground. These children are treated like numbers and due to the fact that we are in it to adopt, it hurts my wife to see how they and us are treated. We finally got two boys that we are adopting. Funny thing about the whole fostering process, since I collect firearms, they said I had to have a safe for the guns and a separate locked cabinet for the ammo. I showed them my Fort Knox safe and said "if you intend on putting a child into my house that can get into this? I don't want them!" Lol

[Houndog]

The sad thing is there are MANY children in foster care and children's homes that are good candidates for adoption, AND many potential GOOD parents desparately wanting to adopt children that are denied the opportunity to do so! My Wife is a County Comissioner and is on a committee that oversees a children's home in our county. They have a waiting list of couples wanting to adopt and are being either tied up in endless, unnecessary red tape by one children's services or another or denied outright because they aren't as well off as some gooberment idiot thinks they should be. My question has always been " Is the child better off living with a marginally poor family that provides their needs and loves them, or is it better to leave them in some home till their 18th birthday and setting them out in the street"? The answer is obvious to me, but lots of times the idiots in charge don't see it my way. Things NEED to change and a little common sense needs to be applied! The way the system works now the loosers are GOOD people looking to adopt a child and the children themselves that could be living in a loving home!

[smokeywolf]

My sister adopted 2 children many years ago. After researching public adoption, they went through an attorney and did both privately. From what I've heard and read, America's foster care systems, social services and child protective services are one of this Country's greatest failures and embarrassments. The family courts that supposedly put the interest of the children first are a joke. Judges quote going by either "the letter of the law" or "the spirit of the law" to justify deciding in favor of the attorney they play golf with or favor the most.

The social services and legal systems are just as corrupt as the Federal Gov't.

smokeywolf