The life-long fight of our lives....

[sirAIG]

Hey everyone,

As a new member here, I am in awe of all that this simple boolit forum has to offer. This is by far, the best forum i have ever decided to be apart of. The people here are just amazing.

This thread is something I wanted to start with the hopes of having some good discussions, and sharing our own personal experiences of trials and tribulations and how we have managed to conquer them against all the odds and forces working against us.

My personal situation is of drug and alcohol addiction. I had struggled for years growing up getting picked on and being overweight and never really fitting in, etc, etc... Once I first found drugs and alcohol I had found peace at last. That is where it all started for me. Some 4-5 years later, I find myself drinking a bottle of vodka a day and doing any drugs I could get my hands on - just to be at peace with myself. I could never look myself in the mirror without getting violently angry. this went on for a few years... I ended up getting sick n tired of being sick n tired and checked myself into rehab. I get out 30 days later and within 48 hours had relapsed going at it harder than ever. Once getting out, my GF of 3 years broke up with me. All of my happiness was riding on her shoulders. I crumbled... a few months later I got myself together enough to check myself in yet again for another 30 days. Well, I was doing it for all of the wrong reasons (please my family, friends, and try to get my EX back). I got out and relapsed AGAIN the same day. I went on living that way for two long years. Being in my deepest, darkest place I have ever been to. While there, I found myself often asking why I was still alive though all of my driving blacked out and high as a kite.... Hunting and shooting with a bottle of booze and a pipe by my side... Never thinking for a minute i was doing anything wrong (I know - INSANE). Long story short, I had a god awakening about 7 months ago, and checked myself back into the same treatment facility I had visited 2 times before. This time was different. I had no real home, no money, no car, and no dignity. Today, I am a free, clear headed man. And I owe that all to MY god as I understand him. With the help of really good people in my life - I can say that I am a different person today.

I struggle to find peace in any organized religion or religious books - but right now I am OK with that. Because what I am doing is what is working for me.

If nobody else wants to share anything that is quite alright - Just had a thought maybe this could become a nice thread to hang out and feel humbled.

Thanks for anyone who cared to listen to my rant/story and I hope I am not overstepping my welcome here.
Aaron

[dbosman]

Welcome.
Though some may very much frown on it, check out the religious options in your area and neighboring area until you find something that works for you. You can and will if you leave your self open to experience variety.
Just because one sect, church, congregation, preacher, minister, rabbi, reverend, parson, etc., aren't what you need - some other group or individual may be just the right fit.

One last comment. Despite doctrinal differences, divisions, or hatreds - every church, congregation, mosque, chapel, or cathedral shares three things.

1) Not enough new members coming in to sustain desired growth.
2) A roof either leaks or was just repaired and needs to be paid for.
3) Boiler, HVAC, etc. either is need of major upgrade or replacement or recently was, and needs to be paid for.

[Bad Water Bill]

Welcome to YOUR new home. There are some members here that have been in your shoes and also found their way out so expect others to step up and share some of their stories with you.

If you need help please say so and you will will understand why we say this is THE BEST on the net.

[DLCTEX]

Welcome brother , I have walked in those shoes. The walk on this side is so much sweeter. Personally I need the reinforcement that my church members give, it makes this walk so much easier. The ones I find here are a part of that group.

[10-x]

JMHO, Find a church, attend regular services and speak to the pastor/preacher/ priest, he can and will help you. Also see if any forum members are close to you.

[wv109323]

If God helped you out of your troubles I would spend some time reading his book. I know that organized religions can be a turn off but look around and you will find a group that you feel welcome around.
Also God may have lead you down a path so that you can help others out of the same situation you were in.

[DeanWinchester]

While I've never had to deal with addiction, I can relate some. I use to think it was okay to hunt out of season, with an AR {at the time illegal in my state} all the while rolling a joint while I wait. Never realizing just what a friggin moron I was. It's part of being alive I suppose. We all do incredibly stupid things in our youth. Some more than others. You and I have obviously made the same ridiculously stupid mistake of mixing booze, dope and firearms. I ain't trying to insult you by saying that and I make NO excuse for myself. Idiocy is the reason, wisdom is the cure.

I hope you find what you're looking for. You're still alive, so you have time to set things straight and be stronger for it. Good can come from it but just as you've done, don't deny or hide it. If you tell just one [young] person and they say to themselves, 'Oh hell no, I ain't going through that!' and they learn from your mistake, then isn't the pain worth it? You've basically born the pain for another. There's no greater love than sacrificing yourself for another.

I also share your disillusionment with 'organized religion' even to the point that I feel like 99% of it is a sham. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is VERY much real and I personally accept that his only begotten son died a horrific death at the hands of men to prove his love for us. Outside of that, I'm filled with all manner of skepticism. If you find something fills the void though, never pay attention to people like me and our skeptical banter. Take it, live and be happy. You only get one shot at this anyway [unless the Hindi's have us beat LOL] and there's no sense in wasting a single second of it.

Peace to you brother, I hope you find some piece of it in the time you have left. All our time is short. It takes guts to spill your guts, thanks for sharing.
May God bless you.

[Lights]

I hope you find what you're looking for. You're still alive, so you have time to set things straight and be stronger for it. Good can come from it but just as you've done, don't deny or hide it. If you tell just one [young] person and they say to themselves, 'Oh hell no, I ain't going through that!' and they learn from your mistake, then isn't the pain worth it? You've basically born the pain for another. There's no greater love than sacrificing yourself for another.



Amen to that.

I have never had a problem with addiction either. But I did see my uncle and a good friend go through it. When they kicked God seen to it that they helped others.

Know I to have had a disliking for 'organized religion' also. I was brought up Cathilic and never really understood much of the Bible. My family now attends a Christian church and I understand the bible and life much better today and I am a better man, husban and father because of it.

Take care and God bless,
Mark

[Uncle R.]

Not to be a Captain Bringdown - but ain't there a question about drug addiction on a 4473?
Just something to think about before we go on a rampage of sharing out innermost thoughts and all...

[sirAIG]

Not to be a Captain Bringdown - but ain't there a question about drug addiction on a 4473?
Just something to think about before we go on a rampage of sharing out innermost thoughts and all...
when i bought my handgun there was no question that i remember? Bought it a month ago...

[smoked turkey]

Aaron: Thank you for sharing your inner most feelings concerning your past. We all have a past and many times, no..in fact most times none of us lived up to the person that God desires us to be. But for the grace of God who loves us and gave Himself for us that we might be saved from ourselves and the enemy of all our souls, satan himself. Back to what I was saying about our past. That is just what it is, in our past. We can't do anything about our past but we all can make a better future. The fact that you are alive and here just goes to show that God loves you and wants the best for you. In His Word in Jeremiah 29:11, He speaks to that fact. I think it is very important that you be open minded about looking for a good Bible believing, Bible preaching church. Bear in mind that it will have people in it that are like you, not perfect, but striving to be more like Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Read and study the scriptures daily. Find someone that will mentor you and help you through these times of finding your way. It is hard to do, but will be worth it. Take your time in finding just the right person to be your friend. It will pay big dividends for you later on. God Bless you and thanks for sharing.

[Lights]

Not to be a Captain Bringdown - but ain't there a question about drug addiction on a 4473?
Just something to think about before we go on a rampage of sharing out innermost thoughts and all...

It asks if you are a unlawful user. Not a past user.

[KrisR]

Aaron: Thank you for sharing your inner most feelings concerning your past. We all have a past and many times, no..in fact most times none of us lived up to the person that God desires us to be. But for the grace of God who loves us and gave Himself for us that we might be saved from ourselves and the enemy of all our souls, satan himself. Back to what I was saying about our past. That is just what it is, in our past. We can't do anything about our past but we all can make a better future. The fact that you are alive and here just goes to show that God loves you and wants the best for you. In His Word in Jeremiah 29:11, He speaks to that fact. I think it is very important that you be open minded about looking for a good Bible believing, Bible preaching church. Bear in mind that it will have people in it that are like you, not perfect, but striving to be more like Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Read and study the scriptures daily. Find someone that will mentor you and help you through these times of finding your way. It is hard to do, but will be worth it. Take your time in finding just the right person to be your friend. It will pay big dividends for you later on. God Bless you and thanks for sharing.

THIS!

A small group of Christian men. its about accountability too one another, this will help keep you clean and sober. It sounds that your working threw some steps, been there. Continue on and use it, it works. Find a small group. I cant say enough about my Christian Brothers.
Thanks for sharin, God Bless you

Kris

[missionary5155]

Good morning sirAIG
Well I will pray for you each morning.
I came from a non-religious home and knew no better. Started at the bottle (dad's stash) when I was 13. Discovered drugs in college then just grew into it in the Army. Summer of 1972 I overdosed on a 4 way hit of acid. I was laying on the floor of our squad room and a Bible verse ran through my mind from reading Robison Crusoe when I was 12. Psalm 50:15 "Call upon Me in the day of thy trouble, I shalt deliver thee and thou shalt glorify Me." Well I called upon God to keep me alive and if He chose to I would read that little black book of His that was down in the bottom of my locker. So I started reading the next day at the motor pool sitting in the tank commanders hatch. My vehicle was "green" so I had all sorts of free time. Read through the New Testament and Psalms 3 times in those following weeks all the time saying "God if you are real show me". At the end of those 3times through I knew I was lost and deserved hell. So 28 September 1972 I told God my need as a sinner. Happily in the back cover was a simple plan to salvation I had never seen before. So that afternoon I rejoicingly asked the Lord Jesus to wash me clean and be my Savior. No regrets !
God took away the drug usage right away. The drinking went about 6 months later when I realised that it did not honor Him. Praise Him for never leaving me alone. Still growing in His Grace and loving it more.
Read the Bible daily. When we learn to hunger for His fellowship that is when we grow. This is the preparation. One day we will enter eternity. I sure want to have something to give back to the Lord Jesus for all He has given Me.
Mike in Peru

[sirAIG]

Thank you all for experience, strength and hope. It is much appreciated... I attend an excellent church with my parents. Love all of the people there and feel very at peace while there. My biggest struggle right now is believing that the god that is spoken about in the bible, is real. Believing the bible is truth, and that everything said actually happened. I am struggling lots with that. But i also understand i need to set my house upon a concrete bunker - rather than on some 2x4's. When the storms of life hit - i want to be grounded in my faith.

[Wayne Smith]

Look for a Bible beliving 12 step group. Each and every one of the steps are Biblical, they have just had the references removed. Work through those steps with a supportive group. If you get through them in six months you are not doing them thoroughly!

[patsher]

Well, a long time ago when I was struggling with this very "is God real?" thing, a very wise person counseled me to simply say, each day: "God, if there is a God, please come into my life". That's it. You're making the invitation, no one is forcing it upon you. Then pay attention to the little nudgings which come your way-- read, learn, find wise people to bounce questions off of. And if if things they say don't feel right to your gut, ask God to lead you along the right path, to keep you out of trouble. Use your head, your mind -- these are God's gifts to you, and you are expected to make use of those gifts. But when you invite him into your life, be open to his presence there! What a great journey you're on! Welcome -- there are many of us on the same journey.

[WRideout]

God is seeking you. Just be open to Him. Sometimes we can't see God until we know our own powerlessness. I used to think I could be my own god, in charge of my own life. Now I am glad to know that I am not nearly that big.

Wayne

[Victor N TN]

Like 10-X said. Find a church and just keep going. God will lay something on your heart if you really try.

[popper]

Bible studies are great, sometimes confusing. Just believe it - no questions ! Accept it! The answers and proof come a little later. You believe (have faith) that hitting your thumb with a hammer will hurt? Prove it. Test yourself and let Him show you the proof.

[g5m]

Best wishes to you. Sounds like a very tough path you've had.
I would suggest a good nearby church also.

[Mop]

sirAIG, This is how God works. I came here this morning to enjoy a little reading about casting boolits(I'm a newbie) before heading to work and the Lord led me here where I got the best devotion for today. I had already read my normal devotion but this was way better.

Just believe and have faith and you will see things happen all around you that have "God" written all over them. No explanation! None needed. Read His word with a purpose of understanding it and He will guide you.

Keep the faith
Mop