To Protect and Serve (the State, that is!)

[felix]

> > Directions on "How to call the Police"
> >
> > George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
> > told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could
> > see from the bedroom window.
> >
> > George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there
> > were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police and told them
> > that there were burglars in his shed.
> >
> > The officer asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said no.
> >
> > The officer replied that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply
> > lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
> >
> > George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
> >
> > "Hello I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in>my
> > shed, but you don't have to come now because I just shot them all."
> >
> > Then he hung up.
> >
> > Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
> > ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence.
> >
> > Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen
> > said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
> >
> > George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
> >
> > I LOVE IT. ... felix
> >

[9.3X62AL]

Too funny.......folks in the seedier parts of town learned a long time ago that if you want to get a little assistance from the local gendarmes, ya need ta spice up the spin just a bit. Not LIE, per se......just relate the facts in a manner that allows the proper attention to be given to the matter at hand.

[Bret4207]

One of the major, MAJOR, differences betwen my organization and the local Sheriffs Office is that they can tell the constant whiners and attention hounds that they will NOT entertain their complaints. We, on the other hand, are required to respond to any and all complaints, not matter what. I once got in some pretty hot water when at 2:30AM the care taker of a campground called for the 3rd night in a row complaining that "someone" was outside his cabin near the garbage cans. Seeing as how we were the better part of 60 miles away and had been there 2 and 3 times a night for the 3 previous nights and were in the middle of something I kind of got exasperated and told the dispatched to tell to go outside and chase off the racoons himself. Probably would have been OK if everybody in scanner-land hadn't heard it, including an insomniac ex-Zone Sgt. Needless to say I was a real popular guy for a while.

[felix]

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving


Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.


felix

[carpetman]

My daughter worked at a drive in bank. In the parking lot two cars had a head on crash. Took a very long time to get th police there. Few weeks later a naked guy rode up to the window on his bicycle. Police were called and in very prompt time--two squad cars. Daughter said if she ever needed them she would throw in that there was a naked guy involved.

[wills]

Gay Police?

[nvbirdman]

When I lived in Los Angeles I called the police one time to report some guys car alarm going off at 3:00AM. The response was basically "Who cares?"
I am sure if I had said "Somebody is breaking into a car.", the response would have been "Who cares?"
I'm sure glad I got the H--l out of L.A.