Scrounger
07-22-2005, 09:35 AM
These will amuse you or make you turn red in the face...
You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to
> >Robin
> >Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our
> >UN
> >Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.
> >
> >Robin Williams' plan....(Hard to argue with this logic!)
> >
> >I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan
> >for
> >peace. So, here's one plan."
> >
> >1..) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
> >affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo,
> >Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We
> >will never
> >"interfere" again.
> >
> >2..) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
> >Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't
> >want
> >us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed
> >sneaking
> >through holes in the fence.
> >
> >3..) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and
> >leave.
> > We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
> >gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they
> >are..
> >
> >They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
> >
> >4..) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90
> >days
> >unless given a special permit!!!!!!!! No one from a terrorist nation
> >will be
> >allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't
> >hide
> >here.
> >Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab
> >drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
> >
> >5..) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.
> >If
> >they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
> >
> >6..) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy
> >wise.
> >This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will
> >require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The
> >caribou will have
> >to cope for a while.
> >
> >7..) OfferSaudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel!
> >for
> >their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go
> >somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells
> >filling up the
> >storage sites would be enough.)
> >
> >8..) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we
> >will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds,
> >rain,
> >cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is
> >stolen or given
> >to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
> >
> >9..) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't
> >
> >need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building
> >would make a
> >good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
> >
> >10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one
> >can
> >call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is
> >ENGLISH.....learn
> >it...or LEAVE.....
> >
> >Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
> >
> >"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your
> >tired,
> >your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You
> >want
> >a piece of me?' "
> >
> >If you agree with the above forward it to friend.......... If not, and I
> >would be amazed, DELETE it !!!!!
> >
The 23rd Qualm:
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will
find no exit, for he is in office.
His tax cuts for the rich and his media control, they discomfort me.
He prepares an agenda of deception in the presence of his religion.
He anoints my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runs out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days
of his term, And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.
You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to
> >Robin
> >Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our
> >UN
> >Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.
> >
> >Robin Williams' plan....(Hard to argue with this logic!)
> >
> >I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan
> >for
> >peace. So, here's one plan."
> >
> >1..) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
> >affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo,
> >Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We
> >will never
> >"interfere" again.
> >
> >2..) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
> >Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't
> >want
> >us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed
> >sneaking
> >through holes in the fence.
> >
> >3..) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and
> >leave.
> > We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
> >gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they
> >are..
> >
> >They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
> >
> >4..) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90
> >days
> >unless given a special permit!!!!!!!! No one from a terrorist nation
> >will be
> >allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't
> >hide
> >here.
> >Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab
> >drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
> >
> >5..) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.
> >If
> >they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
> >
> >6..) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy
> >wise.
> >This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will
> >require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The
> >caribou will have
> >to cope for a while.
> >
> >7..) OfferSaudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel!
> >for
> >their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go
> >somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells
> >filling up the
> >storage sites would be enough.)
> >
> >8..) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we
> >will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds,
> >rain,
> >cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is
> >stolen or given
> >to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
> >
> >9..) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't
> >
> >need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building
> >would make a
> >good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
> >
> >10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one
> >can
> >call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is
> >ENGLISH.....learn
> >it...or LEAVE.....
> >
> >Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
> >
> >"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your
> >tired,
> >your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You
> >want
> >a piece of me?' "
> >
> >If you agree with the above forward it to friend.......... If not, and I
> >would be amazed, DELETE it !!!!!
> >
The 23rd Qualm:
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will
find no exit, for he is in office.
His tax cuts for the rich and his media control, they discomfort me.
He prepares an agenda of deception in the presence of his religion.
He anoints my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runs out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days
of his term, And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.