Wife money and time constriction

[DonMountain]

As a general question, I was wondering if others have similar money and time constrictions placed on their boolit casting, reloading and shooting participation by a wife that doesn't participate in the hobby. I live on a farm with lots of deer and enjoy the hobby of shooting cast lead boolits from my collection of antique military surplus rifles I acquired before my fateful blunder into wedding bliss. And now as we approach our 15th year of married life she harps on me every time I suggest that I am going to the shop to cast boolits rather than working on a piece of furnature for "her" house. And I have to sneak out to the gun store to purchase powder and associated reloading tools with cash I have saved up so it doesn't show up on the credit card bill when it comes in. And the only gun she cares about is her Winchester 94AE in .356 Winchester and that I have good j bullet loads made up for it and her deer stand in a good place when the first day of deer season comes around. And that I show up in time to pick up and clean her deer with the tractor after she shoots it.

[fredj338]

My wife knows better. I don't tell her she can't buy shoes or pruses & she doesn't tell me I can't buy gun stuff. Best aprt is my stuff is worth what I paid for it or more, hers is worth 1/4! I shoot every Sat someplace, that is my me time. Your wife needs a time out IMO, but it's your wife. It's only comprimise if you both give in. Otherwise you are capitulating not compromising.

[ShooterAZ]

My wife knows better. I don't tell her she can't buy shoes or pruses & she doesn't tell me I can't buy gun stuff. Best aprt is my stuff is worth what I paid for it or more, hers is worth 1/4! I shoot every Sat someplace, that is my me time. Your wife needs a time out IMO, but it's your wife. It's only comprimise if you both give in. Otherwise you are capitulating not compromising.

+1 Same here. We each do our own thing and no one complains. I had a girlfriend years back that was freaking out about all the gun powder I stored in the house. I countered her with the fact I didn't like her cat being in the house. Her response was, " at least my cat won't blow up". That relationship was short lived.

[prs]

Should we be politically correct and civilized? Or just tell Ya to grow a pair and put the pants on?

prs

[Blammer]

" at least my cat won't blow up". That relationship was short lived.

It would be endanger of doing that via a 55gr SPSX, at any given moment....

[Blammer]

I'd take control of paying the CC, then the worries are solved and you can start ******** about how much 'junk' she buys.

[Calamity Jake]

A wonderful 16 years with a woman that likes to shoot cowboy action with me, I love it.

She understood from the beginning that shooting in general was my hobby and that there would be lots of time involved in it. I do something gun/reloading/casting related about every day, sometimes she helps, AGAIN I love it!!!

I do the milbolt collecting/shooting too, when I come home with another rifle she says that the next one has to be a cowboy gun, did I say I LOVE IT?!!!!! AND HER

[Lizard333]

How did you make it fiften years with that lady and not have her support?? Ive been with my wife 17 years, and she know that if I didn't have my hobby, I would go mad!!

[DonMountain]

What kind of guns do I need to buy her so she can get into Cowboy Action Shooting? Does her Winchester 94 AE in .356 Winchester count as one of those rifles? And she probably needs a double barreled hammer gun for a shotgun? I have a double barreled shotgun but it doesn't have hammers on it. A single that does? How about pistols? The oldest I have is a 1917 S&W army in .45 ACP (a revolver).

[LEADHOPPER]

My wife didn't have a problem with my gun/casting hobby, until she had to quit her job as her employer wouldn't work with her on her hours. Now I just have to wait a little longer to get the things that I "need", versus the things that I want. But, she still doesn't complain when I venture out to the garage to do a little loading and casting. She reads books, I cast and reload.

LH

[mold maker]

Been married to the same gal for 49 years. She made dolls, pocket books, Afghans, and kept others kids in the home. I still cast,load, and shoot. She don't care about my gun stuff, and I don't bother her hobbies unless asked for help.
Live like Jack Sprat, and his wife, and you'll get fat and happy.

[DonMountain]

How did you make it fiften years with that lady and not have her support?? Ive been with my wife 17 years, and she know that if I didn't have my hobby, I would go mad!!

She believes that my hobby should be building furnature for her house? What else could I possibly need for a hobby?:lol:

[runfiverun]

just start looking at bass boats,or muscle car parts for a while.
eventually she'll ask, then give her the line about wanting to do semething else.
" but a decent bass boat is gonna be 30k".
or, "man, look here, this supercharger is only 6 grand".
"the other one i was wanting is over 8k plus installation, maybe it doesn't have the bypass".
she hears numbers like that and 130.00 for some primers seems cheap.

[finishman2000]

my first wife asked me on our honeymoon what would i do if she asked me to get rid my guns.
i told her the guns will be with me longer than her....i was right.

new wife is a LtCol USAR, did a tour in both sandbox's and will be in HOA (africa) in june for a 13 month tour.
she, me and her son all went shooting this morning,,,she shoots my 45 better than her beretta.
she's a keeper!!

[ShooterAZ]

It would be endanger of doing that via a 55gr SPSX, at any given moment....

You got that right. I would come home and that SOB cat would be sleeping on MY pillow. I hate cat hair and I don't care much for cats either...especially on my pillow!

[geargnasher]

The happiness your life and in a marriage is entirely within your power and your choice to achieve, the issue is learning how to use that power instead of giving it all away to the other person and then resenting them for it.

After about 18 months in any relationship, you can pretty much tell how it's gonna be if you pay attention. I made sure that the lady I married understood and believed in mutual support and mutal compromise, and after five years we're finally getting pretty good at both! She lets me do what I want and I let her do what she wants, neither one of us is frivolous with money, and we maintain a spare money "kitty" for doing things together or taking trips/vacations. If you can't appreciate and support each other, what's the point?

BTW my wife does shoot a little bit, but just enough to keep up her pistol skills. Sad to say she doesn't have "the bug" like some do, but that's ok, I don't really enjoy participating in here hobbies, either, and we're both fine with that.

Gear

[Wolfer]

Mine gave up years ago!

[375RUGER]

She knows better. Guns is one thing she knows she can't get in the way of. She knew when she married me that I hunt and shoot and do all things related. She is happy that I have something to do to stay busy and she likes the meat I bring home. She has even started hunting a little, and loves to shoot and refuses to shoot any ammo that I don't make. She says she needs another Vaquero to wear on her left hip so she will be better balanced. Heck, I even have a whole spare bedroom at home that is 'mine'+ all the overflow into other parts of the house and outside.
She's a keeper- she even worked 100 hours in trade for a S&W 500 that she wanted me to have and I didn't even ask for, she just wanted to get it for me.

What I don't understand is how she can just sit and watch TV and do nothing.

[Silvercreek Farmer]

I bought a Lee Hand Press so I could reload in the living room from 8-10 pm, the only time my wife and I actually see each other during the week. She reads, watches TV, and/or works on her crafts. Works out pretty well. I have noticed that she spends more on her crafts than what she used to before I started ordering great big (expensive) boxes of reloading supplies! She doesn't shoot much, but she certainly understands that it is effective therapy for working a desk job all day.

[762 shooter]

Your love of shooting and casting will be with you forever.

I'm just saying.

762

[44man]

Woman's place---HE, HE! A big joke. :drinks: My wife has never been restricted in any way and she got the pay checks and controlled the money. I made extra money for me and did not need a dime from the paycheck. That was my money. I repaired TV's long ago on the side and that along with gunsmith work kept me fat and happy.
I have always been able to get what I want but now on SS it is hard, no side work, no pay check, no overtime.
Then the wife overheard me saying something to a friend about vacations or something, don't remember but the friend is rich and goes all over the world.
She tried to throw it back at me and I said stop, get in your car and go somewhere, I have my dogs to care for.
Been a few weeks now and she still doesn't talk to me. Bitch, moan, grumble and grouch.
When you get to my age, a dog that will never leave your side and will actually hug you when you pick her up, never gripes, looks in your eyes and understands is far better then fighting with a woman. Fellas, I have friends hen pecked to the extreme, don't go there, we work too hard.
Don, make the wife gut and drag her deer, then butcher it. She should load her own ammo too if she restricts you that much.
Understand she is using YOUR money for herself.
My wife was old school like me and we did not waste money. The house is paid for and we owe no money but she can buy or do what she want's to. So can I but the restriction is what is coming in now.
I can tell you for a fact, a woman wants to travel the world, hates where they live, want's a mansion like the movie stars, believes the lives on the soaps and thinks you are a ********* if you do not provide. Take that credit card and go buy what you need, never more. If you can afford it, get it without hurting your life. Pay it off every month so there are no charges. I can't stress that enough, DO NOT OWE MONEY.
I am Harsh, very harsh but my friends if you can't pay for the powder every month, do not go into debt.
If you make house payments, put extra on the principal to reduce interest. Reduce debt as fast as you can.
But darn it if you make enough money go buy your powder and tell the wife to get a real job! Your whole life goes by in about 10 seconds.
My little dog is on her pillow under my seat. My wife did not make anything to eat so I have to make leftovers, left over frozen pizza.

[white eagle]

my wife knew I was a sicko
36 yrs ago when we met
nothing changed

[472x1B/A]

I let my wife know from the very start if she ever had a problem with my firearms/shooting/reloading pack up and move out. We are still togather after 14yrs, she does her crossword games and her TV.

[fredj338]

She believes that my hobby should be building furnature for her house? What else could I possibly need for a hobby?:lol:

That then becomes a job. You probably already have one of those. If you are retired, then it becomes less argueable, you should have time for both.

[Ickisrulz]

My wife and I agreed to an allowance system 20 years ago. We each get $200/month to do whatever we want with. No questions asked. That has worked well so far. She likes to buy electronic gizmos. To me it's a waste...but it's her thing. We owe no money to anyone BTW.

She also makes sure I get time to work on my hobby. I try not to take advantage of this and make sure I don't stay away for more than an hour each night when I'm reloading or casting. I shoot about once a week on Saturday morning for 2-2.5 hours.

She likes to shoot also, but not much lately as we have no babysitter. I tell her she should go alone, but she doesn't want to.

[Springfield]

Don; A 357 lever gun is good to go for cowboy shooting, and any double barrelled shotgun, does not need to be hammered, in fact hammered guns are rare. She will also need 2 pistol caliber single action handguns. Go to www.sassnet.com for all the particulars, or you can e-mail me or call at 408 356-5031 if you would rather. My wife and I both shoot cowboy, and the kids are practicing now and will start in a few years, as they are only 8 and 10. She doesn't reload nor cast boolits but that is OK. She does clean her own guns most of the time.

[Jim Flinchbaugh]

Does your wife buy her own ammo, load it herself, cast here own boolits? Maybe its time she did!
I'd make sure you know where your sleeping bag is before trying that though :-p

[mpmarty]

I'm now going on twenty years to the same wife. We were friends for ten years before we got married. I was married to several women prior to this one and never for more than ten years to any of them. I don't take being told what to do or how to do it and have a short fuse and a long memory. I'm happy now and will probably stay with this one.

[Stick_man]

I have been married to the same woman for just over 23 yrs now and things could be better... but they could also be lots worse. She has gone hunting with me a couple times, but she does not want to ever pull the trigger on an animal. She doesn't say much about my expenditures as long as I don't take the funds from the family budget. Every once in a while she'll get after me about the wheelweights in the shed (or garage), but quiets down pretty quickly when I cough up some cash from selling some. Fortunately (for me), those wheelweights aren't worth much and when I sell a 50+ lb box of them, I only get $20-25 from it. There are certain joys and liberties with Paypal. :) My biggest restriction has been available time to enjoy my hobby.

[2Tite]

Build a couple of pieces of ugly and poorly finished furniture. Insist that they be prominently displayed in the house. Reminds me of the guy I worked with whose wife wanted to go fishing with him. About 14 hrs in a small wooden boat with no food or drinks on a hot summer day and the appropriate cleaning of fish and gear and a long ride home took care of that.

[Recluse]

My wife has her own checking account, as do I, and we each have our own savings accounts. We have some joint household accounts for bills and obligations.

I don't tell her how to spend her money, she doesn't tell me how to spend mine.

I don't tell her how to spend her free time, she doesn't tell me what do do with mine.

My likes and hobbies have some nice fringe benefits for my wife. The shooting, loading and casting means plenty of guns and my wife IS a fervent, adamant supporter and defender of the Second Amendment. She enjoys shooting but is not a "nut" about it. She does like the idea of us having the firearms we do for protection and practicality.

My other passion--my airplanes--means we can go anywhere in North America we want anytime we want without messing with TSA, screaming kids, rude parents, long lines, overpriced vendors, skyrocketing parking lot/garage prices and all the other joys that come with commercial airline travel.

She knows she is always free to join me on any flight I make when I'm just looking for an excuse to burn some avgas, and there have been plenty of times we've just looked around on the sectional (like an air map) and found an interesting place and then flown there for lunch or supper.

Same goes with boating--she loves the water and loves to explore the Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and Arkansas lakes.

My wife has her interests and I support them as fully as she does mine.

The OP better lay down some rules with the wife or just go ahead and and give it all up. Sounds like a pretty one-sided relationship.

:coffee:

[runfiverun]

now, just how did you see me and the b.i.L. pull that one on his first wife???

[jmsj]

Don,
I waited till my late 30's to get married and I am coming up on 10 great years of married life. When my wife and I were engaged she told one of her friends "What's his is mine and what's mine is his", I gave her a very annoyed look. She asks me, well isn't that right? I emphatically answered her " No. The guns, the horses and the tack are mine, everthing else is ours". She likes to shoot also. In the beginning she would claim a gun of mine to shoot for a while and then switch to another every so often. I figured that this was okay as it let her figure out what type of gun she preferred. I asked her what she wanted for a 10th anniversary present and she asked for a SS Rossi 92 in 38/357. I asked her don't you want jewlery or something else and she answered "I already showed you what I want".
She knew that shooting and guns were a big part of my life before we got married and she has always abided my hobby and I hers. Since she and the kids like to shoot she knows that some of the money and the time I spend in the shop casting and reloading is for the guns she and the kids shoot.
Good luck, jmsj

[Jammer Six]

I am the undisputed, unquestioned head of our household.

I speak with our only voice on the internet. I decide our position on all matters that matter.

I decide what our position is relative to other countries, and what our opinion is, for instance, on war and peace.

To free my time, to lower my burden, that I may better meet these demands, my wife takes care of all the mundane, day-to-day matters.

Like the money.

[Moonie]

My wife handles the money, I am the head of the household but I know she is better with money than I am. I was chided recently on here when I missed a group buy for a Mark VI because I didn't have time to discuss it with the wife. Well the wife and I have a deal, if it costs more than $20 and its coming out of the joint account or CC we discuss the purchase. Thanks to this we have a large savings account and our credit has gotten to the point that we were able to purchase this new car: http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showpost.php?p=1650742&postcount=141 at 3.25% interest, and easily put down 10%.

Yes, sometimes I have to wait for things I want, but she likes making me happy. That may change, as we have only been married 5 years.

[Duckdog]

I'm like most of the others here in that I have no restrictions, but neither does my wife. I do my hobbies and she does hers.

It's kind of funny... I work in the office of a large utility and deal with dollar amounts in the millions anually, but do not pay a single bill at home. My wife does that. All I ask is that I get $100 every two weeks to piss away as I see fit, and if there's anything left, I coon that away. She gets the same. if we need extra money in between, we get it, but that rarely happens.

If your happy with your siutation, then live with it... if not, it's time to make a change to correct the situation.

[WILCO]

50 percent of marriages end in divorce, the other half suffers silently.........I'm not suffering anymore. :lol:

Try wearing her down so she's too tired to bother you. [smilie=1:

[GREENCOUNTYPETE]

one year we added up what my wife spent on quilting fabric she tracks the finances with a program that allows her to categorize the spending a simple year end report makes it very clear were the $ went , it didn't make my gun and gun stuff purchases for the year look bad at all.

the first thing everyone needs to know is that everyone needs their own hobby time , haven't hardly found a person yet without a hobby , just that some don't look like hobbies
for some drinking at the bar and socializing is their hobby , for others it is going to church 4-5 days a week and researching the scriptures , for others it is tv , sports , the casino , lawn care , decorating the house, or gossiping at the coffee place.

so we have worked out hobby time , just cause your not sitting next to her while she does her hobby may be tv or sewing. it doesn't mean you don't love her my wife can sew while i am in the garage casting.

what we ended up with was a hobby allowance when my paycheck hits the bank it automatically pulls our hobby money and puts it in each of our savings accounts for hobby stuff , with the kids and money being tight it isn't very much but it is something.

time , that can be hard to juggle , running kids everywhere , we managed to take a few weekends in the last 2 months and schedule nothing , stay home catch up on chores and get some hobby time in , we even sent the kids to grandmas for one weekend , well that is over , my 4H shooting sports season starts up next Saturday, and i will be spending every Saturday that i am not working or that has a holiday for the next 8 weeks at the range , lucky for me i don't mind spending my time coaching kids in shooting sports, but it does take up a bunch of time , i do however consider it part of my hobby , and i bring some of my kids to some of the events depending on their interest and their ability to participate.

our other hobby that we share is gardening , we know that spring gets very busy and i also work a lot 50 hours +this week so last week i took Wednesday off , we looked at the calendar in January and decided when we needed to start our seeds , and i scheduled a vacation day to get the seeds and garden started i have 3 more days scheduled when we get to our frost free time.

find ways to maybe do your hobby but include her , i don't mean he shooting along side of you , my wife , will not shoot , she has no problems with me shooting , with the kids shooting , she even shot a little before we were married but she just has no interest in it , she will come to the range some times she brings her cameras and takes lots of pictures , she likes to go on black powder runs , i get powder for myself and the 4H muzzle loading program from time to time , my dealer is 2 hours away but she likes to go for the drive , she found a great old dinner to get dinner at , we pack a lunch and go see something around the area last time we went to the John Deere historical site in Grand De Tour Ill
we also on a whim visited Tampico Ill and toured the birth place of Ronald Reagan , i mean when every sign pointing west for 25 miles says birth place of Ronald Reagan how can you not follow one of the signs and go see.

If everyone can just understand that each person needs some hobby time , or sometimes decompression time and different people hobby and decompress in different ways
for some they need to fall a sleep watching a movie to call it relaxing others , de-cap brass , sort and trim.

maybe try and communicate that you enjoy your hobby and need some time to do it , it doesn't mean you like her any less , but you need to schedule time for you and time for her and communicate this , and try and set aside some money for each of you to do your own things , so that it isn't coming from your household monies.

[fullofdays]

I'm 9 months into a marriage and we have had healthy discussion on my existing reloading and new casting hobby. I find that communication is what my wife is seeking. She wants to be a part of what I'm doing regardless of what it is... She has her hesitations on smelting lead in the backyard and that's understandable. She is concerned for my safety and wants me to be around. Its more about understanding what she wants - there is something that is driving her questions and its my role as her husband to be gentle and generous and loving to her when we compromise on things.

[flounderman]

at least she does shoot a deer. be happy with that. mine will shoot, but she won't hunt those cute animals. or eat any of them. self defense, is another story,
so it isn't all bad

[happyret65]

Time to remind her that "you're the man she couldn't live without" and you need to release your manly frustrations. Drinking, shooting pool and dancing might be the alternative!

[RevGeo]

My wife of almost 20 years is way into reusing and recycling. She also is a firm believer in the concept that making things for yourself is better than buying them. She thinks that handloading and bullet casting are an intelligent way to go about the shooting sports. A lot of our food comes from hunting and fishing and she loves wild game meat. She was a hunter in her younger days but now only fishes.
She handles the money and actually searches ads and yard sales looking for lead and reloading components.
A good woman makes life a lot nicer. Two ex-wives proved that to me.

[ku4hx]

We pay all bills from a joint account that accumulates all incoming monies, leave the agreed-upon minimum amount in the joint account and split the rest. What she does with her split is her business and what I do with mine is my business. There are other mutually agreed upon things that support the plan such as an amply funded emergency account.

This system has served us well for just shy of twenty years.

As far as time goes, she has her hobbies and I have mine and we assure ourselves plenty of "we time". About ten years ago she suggested we both buy motorcycles; we did that together until just recently. She bought three guns lately and understands my need to cast and load. She likes to shoot but she doesn't want to pay for her ammunition when I can supply us all we want ... which I willingly and lovingly do. I'm a lucky man, which is not to say there haven't been rough spots. But we as a couple have grown closer and we both see that. We've both learned to "hang on loosely".

She wanted the backyard fenced in and planters built. She contacted the proper people and is in the process of having the backyard tilled and sprigged. The fence is up, the planters are built and the flowers, berries and vegetables are going in. With this she did/is doing a masterful job. Did I say I was a lucky man?

[mktacop]

My wife was similar to that of the OP. We came to a compromise where we each get a "hobby allowance" that automatically goes to a separate checking account once a month. We each have a hobby account debit card and we can do whatever we want with the money in our hobby account. Works out well that way for both of us.

That being said, I often get accused of wanting to spend more time "playing with my boolits" than spending time with her (she rarely shoots), so I try and have a set time each week for my hobby. Saves takinga lot of grief...FWIW

[2ndAmendmentNut]

The financial advice we have lived by has been tithe 10%, save 10% and lovingly spend away the remaining 80%.

My wife is great with the budget, and we try to budget $100 each a month for our respective hobbies. Of course not every month have we been able to spare that “hobby” money (bills, food, etc…) but most of the time we do alright.

My wife also participates (on occasion) and for the most part supports my gun hobby, especially seeing as it has always kept meat in the freezer. She also was well aware that I was a gun nut before marriage.

My advice would be to sit down and explain how important the casting/shooting thing is to you.

[7br]

I went through 17 years of trying to make my ex happy. Two years ago she moved out. Divorce was finaly last year. We would still be married if she would have agreed to work together to try and save it.

I found that anything that took my focus off of her would eventually make her gripe. Helping with Cub Scouts for our boys, too much time. Coaching softball for our daughter, too much time. IHMSA Match director, too much time. Looking back, I think she would over spend, just to see if I would tell her it was ok and she was not a horrible person for doing it.

Bottom line is my ex had some major kinks in her personality. Considering her upbringing, it is no wonder. You need to be honest with yourself. Are your hobbies interfering with your family? Are you breaking the budget? Do you spend time with your family? Are you shirking the things that it takes to keep a family going?

If you can look yourself in the eye and say you are not, I would really suggest marriage conselling.

Please note that this was my experience. Your situation may be entirely different. PM me if you would like to talk

[1bluehorse]

Hi Don, I had a wife like that...once.... you only get one turn around the clock so I'd try to make the best of it.
by the way, welcome to the forum...

PRS...good answer..

[Love Life]

I have the opposite issue. My wife rolls her eyes and huffs and puffs when I only have 300 rds of 9mm for her Glock 17 when we go to the range.

I love that woman!!

[Rattlesnake Charlie]

I'm lucky. My wife not only shoots with me, but casts, sizes, lubes, and reloads. And, she has a good paying job.

[7br]

I'm lucky. My wife not only shoots with me, but casts, sizes, lubes, and reloads. And, she has a good paying job.

Of course, the real question for RS Charlie is "Does she have a single sister?"

[Lizard333]

My wifes hobby is raising out two boys, 5 and 1.5. That is her full time job. She aslo looks in the paper, craigslist, ebay, and back page for deals on reloading supplies. If she finds a deal its like saving money! Shes happy being a help. Im happy for the help. We are a team, and it works for us.

[dbarnhart]

I have to say I'm a very lucky guy. I've been married for 36 years. My wife's material needs are few and I make sure they come first. She'd never spend a nickel on herself out of the common budget if I didn't insist she do so. I never hear a word of complaint when I spend a little on my hobbies.

[imashooter2]

The most liberating day of my life was the day I figured out I probably wasn't getting laid tonight anyway...

In all seriousness though, I don't spend money recklessly and I don't let shooting consume all my time. But there are matches that I will attend and there is money that will be spent to support my hobby. By the same token, my wife is free to make her own plans and spend within reason on the things she enjoys. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

[Leadmelter]

I remind my wife of 32 yrs that I don't go drinking with the boys, I don't go bowling, golfing or play softball two games week. I get up and go to work every scheduled days and do my share of household work.
Shooting is MY time and if she wants to complain, she does not have to search the city to find me, I'll be in the workshop reloading and listening to some rock or books on tape.
Life is so simple when you break it down.
Gerry

[jsizemore]

She believes that my hobby should be building furnature for her house? What else could I possibly need for a hobby?:lol:

Burn the toast, bleach the blue jeans and make sorry furniture and she'll stop asking you to do things. When she goes to the deer stand then you can cast and reload.

I got a friend that says he wears the pants in the family, but his wife tells him which ones to put on.

[DeadWoodDan]

First weapon that was purchased in what was my girlfriend (now wife of.....13yrs + the 5yrs of dating was ) at the time was a .50 cal T/C Hawkins. Not my first weapon just happen to be her first introduction to the madness. It was a kit gun and I engraved "Old Lady" on her back side. We still joke when she gets pissy i instruct her to talk it over with the "old lady" because i don't argue, she never looses a battle.

[blikseme300]

My wife of almost 20 years is way into reusing and recycling. She also is a firm believer in the concept that making things for yourself is better than buying them. She thinks that handloading and bullet casting are an intelligent way to go about the shooting sports. A lot of our food comes from hunting and fishing and she loves wild game meat. She was a hunter in her younger days but now only fishes.
She handles the money and actually searches ads and yard sales looking for lead and reloading components.
A good woman makes life a lot nicer. Two ex-wives proved that to me.

Amen!

Wife, version 3, supports my addiction for all things related to reloading. The previous, not so much.

Bliksem

[WILCO]

Two ex-wives proved that to me.

wOw! You're a slow learner. :kidding:

[9-toes]

My wife is actually happy about my reloading and casting. Keeps me home and helps kill the stress from my job. And, as far as projects go, this is a little less destructive - last project (BB machine gun) took out the mother-in-laws tulips and yard art. Still feeling the chill from that . . .

[kelbro]

Reading these posts reminds me how blessed I have been the past 32yrs. We know our budget and our savings plan for retirement and we each do our own things both apart and together.


And, it's a lazy man that can't find his wife a second job to support his hobbies :)

[MtGun44]

Good luck convincing your wife. Sounds a bit unwilling to let you have some of
your spare time for your own purposes. This can get pretty sticky.

Not all marriages work out, hope you can find a way to make yours work.

Bill

[popper]

Working on year 44, same problem as you, sort of. I agree with riverrun, or maybe a custom chopper and some tatoos. And they will NEVER learn they weren't put in charge.

[Texantothecore]

From another direction:

I have a woman friend who just started dating a very nice guy. He showed her his guns within the first week after they started to date. Since she was from a family that banned guns in the household I gave her this advice. "He just introduced you to some of his best friends. Call him and ask him to take you shooting this Saturday". She did immediately and he was delighted and is now going to buy her a nice new .22 lr pistol.

Teach the young ladies in your life how to shoot as it is a very valuable commodity in the dating world.

[HangFireW8]

Furniture, huh? Sounds like her nesting instinct has not yet been satisfied.

Ask her just what it will take, furnishing the house, to make her happy and allow you to move your focus on to other hobbies. You should come to some kind of agreement as to what priorities get done first and when you can do what you want. If you get no clear answer, then there are other problems, it's not about furniture.

[lead chucker]

My wife is kind of the same way. You have to test the grounds some times and see how it goes but don't back down. They take for granted all the things we do for them. It's like when you do something nice for them all the time after a while they expect it. So if you take time to do you're thing every week they will start to accept it. Both my wife and I work and have the same days off so i get my time and make sure that I spend time with her. I usually go shooting early in the morning and then spend the afternoon with her. She likes to hunt but is not into shooting all the time.

[Quigley284]

I am so lucky with my wife. She figured out along time ago how important the shooting sports are to me and how much I enjoy them. Never once a question about reloading supplies. So whether its prairie dogs, sporting clays or BPCR, she goes along. She has become a very good spotter. Sorry for your troubles, Mike

[ihmsakiwi]

Hi DonMountain,
My partner of twenty years also passes the odd " are you playing with boolits again" comment when she sees me reloading or casting. As other posters have said it is a partnership. SWMBO is an avid reader, about a novel per week and beforeI bought her a Kindle it was the latest releases of her favourite authors at $20 - $30 dollars each. I never have begrudgesd her the books or the reading time, but I do often use the same "down-time" to do my hobby.

I once responded to her that I could do what my mates do and shoot J bullets at $40 per box, or $20 per match and that it would free up more time. She obviously calculated I was better to spend my time doing what I obviously liked doing and saving a lot of money at the same time. The other thing that really helped was getting our youngest daughter into IHMSA shooting. Now it is fine as I get to spend "girl-time" with my daughter and shoot.
What I don't understand about the fairer sex is where they get the idea that all blokes are electricians, builders, plumbers, painters, home handymen, computer guru's all rolled into the guy that they chose, who never showed any of these traits when courting???
I just spent about four to five hours trying to get the wifi printer to talk to the desktop as apparently "it can't be that hard". Well after we hired a "rent a nerd" for two hours and he too was unable to do it I felt GOOD. Peter.

[greenwart]

Luckily I started the gun hobby when I was 50 years old. After about the third gun purchase I got the "Not another Gun" BS. I explained to her that this was something that I had always wanted to do since I could remember but was denied the opportunity except for the rare boy scout shooting experience. My mother was fearful and controlling(but not my wife). She was not going to deny me the second chance. Luckily my son is an avid shooter so I can play the male bonding, relationship with my son card. Third it was my fun money from gifts , refereeing fees, etc and I would spend it the way I wanted to. Fourth guns are cash if needed. try and pawn a pair of those shoes you just bought you will see their true economic value.
My friend Randy says he has only won one argument with his wife. That he will spend every Sunday afternoon when football is on TV planted in a chair with a beer and remote in his hands. It doesn't mater how many arguments you win, it is how important the ones you win are to you.

Bob

[crowbuster]

Wifes dad was a state champion trap shooter. As a small child she learned to count to 25 loading boxes of reloads with her dad. She was used to either shootin, getting ready to shoot or reloading as a way of life. For a wedding present she bought me a varmint rig for shootin p.d.s A total oppisite of ex wife. Its #2 for both of us and I wouldnt trade her for anything. Nice not to have to fight about every little thing, I have friends who are miserable. lifes to short, find a good 1.

[1bluehorse]

I believe it was Will Rogers who said it best, "there's two ways to argue with a woman.........neither works".

[waksupi]

If a woman asks you why you need more than one gun, go to the kitchen, and hide all but one small paring knife. When she complains, ask why she needs more than one knife?

[HangFireW8]

What I don't understand about the fairer sex is where they get the idea that all blokes are electricians, builders, plumbers, painters, home handymen, computer guru's all rolled into the guy that they chose, who never showed any of these traits when courting???
.

That one is easy, Red Green said it best. If the girls don't find you handsome, at least let them find you handy!

[crabo]

I would recommend you work this out sooner rather than later.

[Freightman]

My wife of 52 years don't say a word about my guns except she did say it to a lady at church, the lady said I hope you make your husband keep all those guns locked up and unloaded! she said "why" what good is an unloaded gun"? the woman almost dropped her teeth when her daughter said the same thing. She might be an "anti" but her family isn't. I know several preachers who preach armed from the pulpit. I started "collecting guns" at a late age, but always had guns from about 8 years old. I started collecting the old Mausers when they were cheap and Mosins kept trading up until I have a $3000 + Shiloh and a $1500 Rolling Block and a few others and I have nothing in them except trading. No my wife doesnt gripe just ask what kind of deal did you make at the gun show?

[maglvr]

You'll have all the time you want, to do all the things you want, after the "BIG-D"
And I don't mean Dallas ;)

[MikeS]

Well, after reading this thread, I know why I'm single! I was sort of married for 12 years (not legally, but might as well have been), got a great 25 year old daughter from that, and after a couple more girlfriends after that, none of which ended the way they should have, I now have just me and my 4 dogs to worry about.

My order of priorities might be wrong too. 1st priority is that my dogs have something to eat, then after that I spend whatever I need to on my shooting/reloading hobby, and after that I pay the bills. Some months I can't pay all the bills, so I pay them the next month. I wonder if that has anything to do with all the bill collectors calling me all the time? :)

[ku4hx]

From another direction:

I have a woman friend who just started dating a very nice guy. He showed her his guns within the first week after they started to date. Since she was from a family that banned guns in the household I gave her this advice. "He just introduced you to some of his best friends. Call him and ask him to take you shooting this Saturday". She did immediately and he was delighted and is now going to buy her a nice new .22 lr pistol.

Teach the young ladies in your life how to shoot as it is a very valuable commodity in the dating world.

Amen brother! My wife was initially scared of guns and grew up in a family without them. I don't think they were especially anti-gun, just no guns of any kind. But she gradually warmed to the idea of responsible gun ownership, did shoot a few times and learned how to properly handle a gun if only to make it safe. Then 11:00AM one Friday when she was home alone an intruder crashed in the front door and she had the presence of mind to grab my Glock 23 and rake the slide. The guy was fifteen feet into the house but turned and ran away. All of a sudden she had a totally diferent view of guns.

Now she's bought a Glock 26, a Ruger Mark III target (and won the first match she entered) and a .22LR Rifle. Last Saturday she shot my Glock 30SF and her first nine shots took out the X-ring at seven yards. I just stood there for a while looking at the big grin on her face. Now she wants to shoot my Ruger KP-90. Goodness I love that woman ... for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes all you need is a little encouragement. And hats off to those among us with the courage to try things they felt were so "bad" for so long.

[Boondocker]

My wife of 31 1/2 years knew when she married me I would be in the woods certain days out of the years, like she does her stuff certain days of the year. She only jabs once in awhile same as I. She converted me from a bar hanging drunk to a happy father and husband, now poppop 3 times over. I only drink occasionally during an event and only 2 is the limit. I do side work so money is not the issue and I also soften the home bills with it. She even bought me a 45/70 for Christmas and just told me to trade my C 90 Zuk in on Ultra Classic so she can ride in more comfort and spend some together which I enjoy immensely. Yessir I got me a great unit that knows how to compromise and having the grandkids run blocker helps also. But just remember as I always said its a 2 way street,listen ,offer and never go to bed angry without a kiss. And yes we still squabble over stupid things but get over it. ( It's Marriage) I hope it goes another 30 years as it is bliss. Sorry for the long wind. You don't bleed going along with what she wants to do occasionally as long as it's time spent. Now my 8 yr old grand son wants me to load some more RD's 165 over 10 grns Unique for his 336 and change to oil in the bike. Then off to hauling more freight tonite and life is great. Ah I forgot to mention my bride has a 380 and a snubby 357 and is not afraid to use them.

[bbs70]

Been married 42 years.
First thing we decided was neither of us had our own money.
ALL money went into the bank, bills came first, pleasure & fun afterwards, if money permitted.
We both worked for our common good.

I have my hobbies, wifey has hers.
Mine just tend to be a little more expensive.

She doesn't understand why I like shooting, but never says anything against it, as if it would do any good.:mrgreen:

She does do the "Why do you need another gun" thing.
And rolls her eyes when I say I found another gun, but doesn't say much.:mrgreen:
But never has said anything when I want to go to the range, except "Have fun enjoy yourself".

[edler7]

I have a shooting buddy who's wife is a control freak, but in a very subtle way. We were going shooting one afternoon and she started her little game about how expensive it was. I said "She's right, Dave. Let's just go down to the bar and watch the strippers for a while".

Haven't had any trouble going shooting since.

[Harter66]

My 2nd Mrs knew right up front,in fact it may have been as late in our courting as the 2nd date ,no had a gun in the console when I picked her up for the 1st date, that she would come along or endure as a "waterfowl widow". While we're in a rough place now I think we will be fine. When she saw the price of 45 Colts ammo at the toy store and ran the numbers loosely then asked if I had the best moulds for what I shoot.

The 1st 1 was a real gem,the last 5 years as the kids came of age. We divorced,HER sister invited me for the holidays puntuated w/"and your X-wife isn't invited". Her brother invited for the salmon run next year, and her Dad asked if she had requested pine, steel,or a simple mine shaft.

We use a house hold acct and personal accts for our money along w/the tax return split. Last year we spent 6k on dirtbikes and gear , and a vacation this year it'll go hunting most likely.

She says we don't talk enough but she's going to school,working 50hr weeks,and takes all of the questions out of most topics . She's a good 1 , now to get her through the big 40.....

My home is my castle and I am the King ! Stuff will be done exactly as .......the Queen says.......

[MikeS]

It's really sad that for some people (men as well as women) it takes a violent encounter to make them appreciate gun ownership. Just imagine what might have happened to the wife if she didn't have your Glock handy when that bad guy broke down the door!!


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I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?40oxog

[Rattlesnake Charlie]

Of course, the real question for RS Charlie is "Does she have a single sister?"

Yes, she does.