Victory......I guess.

[Harter66]

Today the Mrs and I went to court to take guardianship of our granddaughters . Its a rather long sorted story,short version my son gave them up in the divorce, exdil is lives like a junky and is admittedly low IQ.

This has been months coming and feels so ..............................hollow. The exDIL didn't even show for court .

I'm happy that they won't go back to the flophouse life but so disappointed they haven't even tried to get them back ,barely call,visits are minimal,when they can make it. This feels like I'm the 1 who's lost. I mean just really gut booted. Throw in I dread the holidays too. This could be the year I go rogue mountain man just to get my head around the idea I started raising kids at 19 and I'm only obligated now until I'm 61...........................

[GaryS]

Don't worry lad, you've got the rest of your life to figure this out and raise those kids. Make good casters and shooters out of them. Give them something to look forward to. I just turned 66 and it doesn't look like it is going to be a piece of cake any time soon. Just do not give up. Gary

[P.K.]

BTDT! Doing it right now with the wife's son. He and his "partner" decided after they had been to "broke back mountain" to steal his son. Problem was by court order he(son) was to live with mom. Filed in their county won custody under a fruity judge and we have been paying close to a grand a month in child support. Hoping against hope that reason would win out.....Not happening in Jefferson Cty KY. Any who, it's up to the KY court of appeals....God help us, it's been close to 2 years now. Dunno where we are going to get any more $$$. The *** is filing for MORE support because HE can't find employment after droping a job to win this case in the most liberal county in the state.

[462]

Harter66,
Sometimes it happens that two people should never have married. Sometimes it happens that two people should never have become parents.

Sometimes we have to give of ourselves for a better purpose.

Your granddaughters are fortunate to have grandparents who love them enough to become their guardians and show them the love and respect that their mother and father didn't.

Hang in there, man.

[Harter66]

Thanks for the chin ups guys.

I thought I was to be done w/the full time parent thing at 42 , 1st marriage collapsed at 39.5. At 41 I aquired 3 steps to go w/the 4 of my own. I'm at home today w 2,4,12,14yo .

I'm sure I will muddle through some way or other.

I taught the 1st 4 to fend for themselves 3 outta 4 ain't bad .The 12yo shows some promise and interest in hunting so maybe. The grands are on my shirt tails and act "birdy"there is hope.

My son pays CS, his ex should start about the 1st of the yr.

I swore I'd not raise them but faced w/them w/me or foster care,right is right.

[Alvarez Kelly]

I swore I'd not raise them but faced w/them w/me or foster care,right is right.

You are right there. You are doing good for all concerned, including yourself. My hat's off to you. Best of luck, and enjoy them while they are little. :-)

[lead-1]

WOW Harter, are you my Dad? My Dad and Step-mom took custody of their great granddaughters, 3 and 4 year olds when he was around 63 and they had them a couple years before that. Their worthless mother could care less about them and she has a younger girl that she told her grandma she could have her.
I don't even want to express the real dislike for this girl so all we can do is help out with the girls and pray for their mom to figure out what her priorities are before she winds up dead somewhere.

You and your Wife have the hearts and prayers of those in my house, good luck and hang tough.

[Bret4207]

Harter- hang in there. Your story sounds similar to ours. We took in 4 foster kids 2, 3, 11, 14 5 years back after raising our own 2. I think I was 47. We adopted the two little ones, had to push the next oldest out and the oldest left us the day he turned 18. Ya win some, ya lose some. I'll be getting up to get the kids off to school till I'm in my early 60's too. You have to do what's right. Just hang in there, you'll figure it out.

You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[NVcurmudgeon]

Harter, you and your wife are the BEST! Betcha the grandkids will help you two to stay young as you help them to grow into people like you.

[94Doug]

I agree, you should be proud. Raise them and enjoy! Those kids will forever be greatful.

Doug

[frkelly74]

As I said before, God Bless You! I sincerely hope and pray the parents stay out of your way since they have made up their minds to shirk their duty. I am 60 next month. we have a 6 yr old, a 10 yr old and a 12 yr old that we adopted when I had a good job. They are a joy to have around and a blessing from God in our lives. When Raising the second brood the pressure is off to be perfect because you know you can't so that leaves you freer to enjoy the ride. Enjoy every day!

[bstarling]

Our daughter died of leukemia when our granddaughter was just turning 4. Her father is absolutely worthless and a crack head to boot. We took custody of our granddaughter and have raised her to be a fine young lady. Yes, I am proud of how she has turned out, and we are proud to have been her parents. Today she is a freshman music major at a major university and is doing quite well. I would not have traded the world for the chance to have had this child. We miss her mother greatly as does she, but we have always believed that her mother was with her in spirit. I am 63 and have no regrets at having raised a later in life child. She has kept me young.

We are the hands of God and are called to do his work.

Bill

[Harter66]

Today the ExDILs girlfriend announced her parents would pay for attorneys to sue for return of guardianship. If it weren't for the fear of the 6x9 and spending time there w/Ramone ..................... the divorce lawyer stills owes me 4-5 hrs. .

God gives us no more than we can carry/handle sure feels like I'm Atlas some days, Damcles others.

[9.3X62AL]

Some people really enjoy the drama and nonsense of family law court, it seems--the good of the children gets lost in the shuffle, all such people care about is fighting. It appears to me that the only good people doing the right things for the little ones are YOU AND YOURS, Harter. I'm proud to consider folks like you my online friends. Bless you guys!

[Recluse]

Harter,

Almost five years ago, we were in shoes very similar to yours and took in a sixteen-year-old young lady.

My prayers are with you in a big way.

:coffee:

[Dale in Louisiana]

What a crazy, mixed up world we live in...

Do the best you can, and god bless...

dale in Louisiana

[DCM]

It's not always easy to do the right thing!

Sure sounds to me like you are doing the right thing that is best for your Grandaughters.

Best of luck to you!

[wgr]

Harter, you and your wife are the BEST! Betcha the grandkids will help you two to stay young as you help them to grow into people like you.
i agree you guys are number 1.i bet the young ones will love you for it:awesome:

[bigboredad]

just remember raising kids until you are old and gray was most likely a dram for you and your wife. You may be uncomfortable but really it is a short time compared to the next step and there you will be comfortable and know that you made the right decision. I hope this makes sense putting my thoughts into words is not one of my best traits

[Harter66]

Thanks again guys.

BigBore,

I think you said it as well as I might have 1st draft.


I had a lot of stress and ..........there's an adjetive for angst,dread,misgiving,joy,relief, .......he** I was pi$$ off for being put there. I now have my head clear and fresh O2 in the brain pan. I see now I have "captive hunting buddies" for at least 12 yr. I only have the SO,CPS and the 5th district court on my side and about 100it yr of cumulative kid raising on my side so I really don't think her lawyer can take mine.

Again thanks for picking me up and dusting me off.

[quilbilly]

Those kids are very lucky to have you and you will have plenty of help dragging that big buck out of the canyon.

[hiram1]

as i see it hugs are worth it all

[Charlie Two Tracks]

Dang Harter........ You got my story. I adopted a girl when she was 5. At 25 she got married to a real loser and got into crack cocaine. The marriage didn't last too long and we are raising our granddaughter for the last five years. I will be 65 when she graduates. She is 13 right now and I will soon be 61. It ain't easy and it ain't always fun but it is well worth the effort. There are few times in life that you can make a huge difference. This is one of them. Cindy and I went from 12 years of empty nest syndrome into raising a 9 year old who never had any rules....... It is working out though. Kiah just got her report card for the first quarter and it was straight A's. She loves school and band. It's not the way I had imagined things but I guess a guy plays the hand he is dealt. You will do good and remember that you are not alone in this situation.

[Harter66]

Hiram,

They are!


The judge thanked us for being stand up folks, and taking/keeping them out of foster care. As things settle down. Things better. The DIL still sees 2hrs a week. This week we had a great visit in a little over an hr she was completely frustrated due to a string of crying fits, temper tantrums, and general exhausting limit pushing.I just sat back and let them have at ...................... yes I know it was wrong,but soo worth it when she buckled them in the car and the older 1 says"ok papa let's go home".

[gandydancer]

and also remember. 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. (will rogers)

[gray wolf]

So many times people say:
WOW what a great bunch of guy's on this board !
OR -- Hey you guy's are great !

WELL ?
All they have to do is read the posts in this thread and they would know why.
I do believe there is a reason why we are all here together, there has to be.
I don't think you could find a bunch of people with bigger hearts than you will find here.
It's not easy to do the right thing, -- but it seems most of us ( you folks )
just jump in head first.
To the OP, I thank you for being a stand up guy
To the rest of my friends that have expressed such a giving nature
I thank you also for being stand up folks.
It's hard--very hard, to be a decent parent these day's and when the task begins with picking up the pieces of someones bad beginning it is even harder,
much harder.
There aren't enough hat's to take off to you.
God bless every one of you and your families.
I hope I said all that in a proper way.

Sam

[gray wolf]

GANDYDANCER
Your post should be at the top of every page