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454PB
02-06-2007, 12:39 PM
A cultural comparison
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.

Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.

Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.

Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.


Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.

Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.


Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.

Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.


Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.

Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.

Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.


Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.

Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.

Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.

Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.


Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".

Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".

Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.

Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.


Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.


Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.

Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.

Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.

Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.


Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.

Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.

Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.

Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Bret4207
02-06-2007, 07:08 PM
That one I'm printing off!

Buckshot
02-07-2007, 02:51 AM
..............I enjoyed that. Pretty funny. I read something one time about the Germans, French, British, Americans etc, having to do with food, cars, houses, police, and a couple other items. It listed them by who had the best of each and who had the worst of each. For the life of me I can't recall how it went now.

................Buckshot

Nueces
02-07-2007, 09:22 AM
Yeah, I 'don't remember that one', either. The one I heard went, "In hell, the cooks are English, the Army is French, the cops are German.....In heaven, ..."

Scrounger
02-07-2007, 10:10 AM
In Hell: the cooks are English,
the policemen are German,
the mechanics are French,
the lovers are Swiss
and the bankers are Italian

In Heaven: the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian
and the bankers are Swiss

Nueces
02-07-2007, 12:24 PM
Thanks, Scrounger. The only advantage of a poor joke memory is that they're all funny when I hear 'em again! :mrgreen:

Mark

Scrounger
02-07-2007, 12:36 PM
Thanks, Scrounger. The only advantage of a poor joke memory is that they're all funny when I hear 'em again! :mrgreen:

Mark

I do think I have a pretty decent memory but that quote, like much of what I post, is properly credited to Google. I work the heck out of Google.

Nueces
02-07-2007, 12:45 PM
Scrounger,

I found it right away myself. If ever I lost Google, I'd be in the Outer Darkness again. Saves about 4 feet of shelf space, too. :-D

Mark

JeffinNZ
02-07-2007, 06:50 PM
Americans: Think they bravely settled a new land whilst breaking the chains of colonial domination.

Canadians: Think they bravely settled a new land whilst staying true the Empire.

Brits: Think they exported all the riff raff.

Aussies: Think it's pretty neat to trace your heritage back to one of the convicts sent to the "colonies".

Kiwis: Think they got it right and say nothing.

:-D