Can't Shop at WalMart Anymore

[versifier]

:mrgreen: Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!!

[Nueces]

They don't like Irish Setter jokes?

[NVcurmudgeon]

That's one of the funniest posts ever. Everybody picks on Wal-Mart employees, is it because they are mostly what the English call a "sitting bird?" I used to buy Federal bulk .22 LR at a Wal-Mart in CA. They always asked if I was going to use them in a rifle or pistol. Answers I have used:

(1) None of your business.

(2) James Madison said I don't have to answer that.

(3) Neither rifle or pistol, they are for my Gatling.

(4) I don't own a gun, I just put them on the railroad tracks so I can hear them
go "bang" when a train comes.

Now that I have moved to Nevada, and there is a Sportsman's Warehouse in Reno
that handles Federal bulk AND has English-speaking help, I go there. I do go to Wal-Mart for their Ozark Trail brand of camp stove fuel. It's a good buy.

[David R]

Thank you ,I needed that.

David

[Mk42gunner]

That was hilarious, thank you.




Robert

[MGySgt]

Very Good - I needed a good laugh today!

[floodgate]

NVCurmudgeon:

Geez, were they old geezers? That sounds like a hangover from GCA '68, when you had to show ID and sign for any cartridges to be shot in a handgun, and they WOULD ask you that about .22's. Now, of course, ANYTHING can be shot in a "handgun" OR a rifle.

floodgate

[Baldy]

Best one I heard in a long time. ROTFLMAO!!!

[mag_01]

Quick thinking ----Good one

[rvpilot76]

Great post! I laughed and told that joke to everyone in the room. Good time was had by all. Thanks.

Kevin

[NVcurmudgeon]

No, they were a lot younger than me, but then nearly everyone is. About ten years ago there was a movement to establish an "I-680 safety corridor" in eastern Contra Costa and Alameda counties. This was part of the movement against cheap pistols. The traveling circus visited Livermore City Council with the obligatory pony-tailed pathologist and the standard issue wounded cop's wife. some of us pro-gun people told positive pro gun stories to no avail. I told about an old black lady friend of my family who was able to run off some baddies because she had an old IJ double action .38 S&W. The council went 3-2 for passage, and the strident, scrawny, mayoress lost the next election largely on that issue, but the law still stands. The new mayor was my opthamologist, and a trap shooter, but a politician. That means he was not interested in repealing the law. what the heck, he was in! Wal-Mart was new in town and decided to bend in the political winds, so surveyed their customers.

[floodgate]

NV:

Golly, glad I got out of eastern Contra Costa County (Walnut Creek) when I did, twenty-five years back.

floodgate

[Bigjohn]

:coffee: That's it; I officially petition the Administrators to include a PC screen sprayed with coffee emoticon. Either that or they start selling plastic covers to those of us who like to have their morning coffee (Iced Coffee) while reading (catching up) this thread.
Do you know how hard it is to clean coffee out of a keyboard. :coffee:

But all that said and done; STPCWCA (Sprayed The PC With Coffee Again) funny.:-D [smilie=1:

John.

[SharpsShooter]

OUTSTANDING! Versifier, SIMPLY OUTSTANDING!!

[Buckshot]

..............Man I laughed out loud at that one! Thanks!

..............Buckshot

[versifier]

I cannot claim credit for that one, got it in an email from a friend in Florida, and I know he got it from somewhere and passed it on. I figured it was a good one when my girlfriend had a minor accident upon reading it.....

[dakotashooter2]

(1) None of your business.

(2) James Madison said I don't have to answer that.

(3) Neither rifle or pistol, they are for my Gatling.

(4) I don't own a gun, I just put them on the railroad tracks so I can hear them
go "bang" when a train comes.



(5) My nail gun

(6) My radio controled Tank

(7) My GI Joe